I would hate to go drink for drink with you and RoRy.......hell I would be face down in my soup before you knew it. So if I ever get the chance to see your land, please let me know it I had a good time.
Dragon

We don't do it too often but when a session gets going out of the blue, they are usually the best ones.

Went for a ride yesterday and pulled over by the Breathalyzer cops. Now I have not had to blow into one of those things in years. He told me to count to 5. I blew into the mike I asked wheres the tube. He cracked up and waved me through.

I need to remember some of these for a time of need or self preservation. If I needed them though I probably couldn't even read them..

You win!

I have a friend that we call donkey, he always starts his stories with "maybe I should not tell you this but...." . Now this guy is a legend when it come to doing daft things and always in a spectacularly public way. Now he would win hands down, the only problem is, his stories are usually of a type that could not be repeated here.
 
Another bloke I know came out of a shopping mall having lost his keys, he thought he locked them in his old car, so after failing to get the door unlocked with a coat hanger he simply gritted his teeth and broke the passenger side window only to see two security people coming toward him.
After a bit of shouting and finger pointing and macho crap, he discovered that it was not his car. His keys were in fact locked in his car but his car was on the other side of the car park!

Ok, have to post another for HDBeech, only because see opened the door with her "I didn't do it comment".

We have this big jar of chocolate covered almonds, you know the big plasic jars with the screw on lid you get at Costco.  Well since we both love them we have been messing with each other and hiding them.  Today I decided to have fish sticks for lunch.  Step 1 of the directions is to pre-heat the oven to 425°...guess where the last place she hid the almonds was.

From this point on HDBeech will now be known as Dumb Beech!!!

Now that's funny. Thank god it didn't start a fire, or HDBeech might be know as Dead Beech

Chocolate, almonds and plastic - lovely combination I'm sure  - ROFL 

Did they go good with tartar sauce??? YUCK! 

Soooo, Laura, are you still hiding things in the oven ? Ha,Ha Ha

Well this means two things 
1.  Dont put crap in the oven that won't last.
2.  Time to go back to the store and get two more of them one for each of you...

What's the problem, they look like they can still be eaten!!! Good thing she wasn't hiding fireworks!

I was screwing a piece of drywall onto the wall last saturday while remodeling my den, i was having trouble with one of the screws and i thought to myself oh it must be a knot in the wood, well not really, it was actually my coldwater pipe that feeds the kitchen sink. Well i quickly had to become an emergency plumber damn. Oh btw did i mention that i hung drywall for a living for 12 years and never once did this .My wife had that look on her face like she wanted to laugh but knew better haha..

Similar to Wheels  - I was putting a dinner bell up in the kitchen (use it to sound dinners ready rather than shouting all round the house) and thought the best place for it was at the side of the kitchen door above the light switch!!!

Yup - you guessed it - straight into the wire and it had to be replaced. 

Not yet lived that one down

lol - my list is way to long...I do dumb things all the time - hell I have a sticker on my helmet that says " If I learned from my mistakes, I'd be a f##king genius"

Sat on my brand new iPhone over the weekend and BROKE it !!!!! Thank God I kept my old Palm Centro for a back-up !!!!!!

where would i start?

Does it mean you've only been a bad influence 1968 times and a good one the rest of the time    lol

Does it mean you've only been a bad influence 1968 times and a good one the rest of the time    lol

Forgot to unlock my forks before taking off. Not a good outcome.

Ok, I'm an idiot.  I have some business to take care of at the Riverside County Courthouse which is an hour drive from the house.  So after I got done posting a few notes thanking our Veterans on this Veterans Day, I drove all the way out to the courthouse.  Guess what... Today is Verterans Day!!!