Motorcycle Forums » Biker/Motorcycle Humor & Jokes

  • July 21, 2009 6:31 AM PDT
    Every once in a while, somebody starts whining about
     why Harley riders don't wave back.
    Before the whiners dismiss the other rider as a jerk, they
     should consider that  there is likely a very good reason they
     aren't waving back. 
    TOP TEN REASONS WHY HARLEY RIDERS DON'T WAVE BACK
     10. Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
      9. Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
      8. Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
      7. Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate
         off.
      6. Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
      5. Angry because just took out a second mortgage to pay luxury
         tax on new Harley.
      4. Just discovered the fine print in the owner's manual and
         realized H-D is partially owned by those rice-burner
         manufactures.
      3. Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to
         cover their ears like everyone else.
      2. Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled
         his hand on spiked helmet.
      1. They're jealous that after spending $30,000, they still don't
         own a Gold Wing. 
    But to be totally fair, sometimes Gold wing riders don't wave back
     either. 
    Again, to facilitate understanding.......
    TOP TEN REASONS WHY GOLD WING RIDERS DON'T WAVE BACK.
     10. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making an
         obscene gesture.
      9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated
         grip.
      8. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult
         to raise arm.
      7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
      6. The expresso machine just finished.
      5. Was actually asleep when the other rider waved.
      4. Was in a three-way conference call with stock broker and
         accessories dealer.
      3. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen.
      2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, 
          programmable CD player, seat temperature and satellite
          navigation system..
      1. Couldn't find the "Auto Wave Back" button on the dashboard. 
    
    • Moderator
    • 1507 posts
    July 21, 2009 6:36 AM PDT
    Just when you think you have heard everything, someone comes up with more!
    • 5413 posts
    July 22, 2009 5:58 AM PDT
    Heres a few more I found....

    Top 10 reasons sportbikers don't wave:

    10. They have not been riding long enough to know they're supposed to.
    9. They're going too fast to have time enough to register the movement and respond.
    8. You weren't wearing bright enough gear.
    7. If they stick their arm out going that fast they'll rip it out of the socket.
    6. They're too occupied with trying to get rid of their chicken strips.
    5. They look way too cool with both hands on the bars or they don't want to unbalance themselves while standing on the tank.
    4. Their skin tight-kevlar-ballistic-nylon-kangaroo-leather suits prevent any position other than fetal.
    3. Raising an arm allows bugs into the armholes of their tank tops.
    2. It's too hard to do one-handed stoppies.
    1. They were too busy slipping their flip-flop back on.



    Top Ten Reasons Why Dual Sport Riders Don't Wave Back

    10. Vibration of knobby tires prevented the rider from taking his hand off the bars.
    9. MX style safety gear was too bright to see you wave.
    8. His front fender prevents you seeing him wave back.
    7. Was too busy configuring his GPS/Enduro Roll/FishFinder.
    6. His rain/wind/thorn/bug/bird proof thousand-dollar jacket won't allow it.
    5. Faceshield was too covered in mud to see.
    4. Doesn't recognize a wave in any language other than German.
    3. Too busy splitting lanes/filtering through traffic.
    2. One handed wheelies are not easy.
    1. On single-track trails you stop, not wave.



    Top Ten Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave Back

    10. Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
    9. Leather and studs make it too heavy to raise arm.
    8. Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
    7. Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
    6. Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
    5. Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
    4. Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by Honda.
    3. Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
    2. Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.
    1. They're too tired from spending hours polishing all that chrome to lift their arms.


    Top Ten Reasons Why Gold Wing Riders Don't Wave Back

    10. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making an obscene gesture.
    9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip.
    8. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm.
    7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
    6. The espresso machine just finished.
    5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved.
    4. Was in a three-way conference call with stockbroker and accessories dealer.
    3. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen.
    2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height,programmable CD player, seat temperature and satellite navigation system.
    1. Couldn't find the "auto wave back" button on dashboard.


    Top Ten Reasons Why BMW Riders Don't Wave Back

    10. New Aerostich suit too stiff to raise arm.
    9. Removing a hand from the bars is considered "bad form."
    8. Your bike isn't weird enough looking to justify acknowledgement.
    7. Too sore from an 800-mile day on a stock "comfort" seat.
    6. Too busy programming the GPS, monitoring radar, listening to ipod, XM, or talking on the cell phone.
    5. He's an Iron Butt rider and you're not!.
    4. Wires from Gerbings is too short.
    3. You're not riding the "right kind" of BMW.
    2. You haven't been properly introduced.
    1. Afraid it will be misinterpreted as a friendly gesture.


    Top Ten Reasons Why UJM Riders Don't Wave Back

    10. Something's buzzing around the tank.
    9. Do you hear than noise the valves are making?
    8. Trying to push start.
    7. Just felt something shimmy.
    6. Trying to isolate source of resonant shudder.
    5. Hypnotized by digital gear indicator
    4. Needs that hand to affect on-the-fly repairs
    3. Previous owner replaced #3 with a 2.5
    2.5. Mentally reviewing which parts use SAE and which use metric.
    2. Wait, there's a number 2? This bike never had a #2, did it? ****!
    1. Can't see your tank badge to determine what brand of bike you're on.


    Why scooter riders don't wave back:

    10. If you knew what a 10" wheel was like at 50mph, you wouldn't let go of the bars either.
    9. And risk droping the PBR 12-pack?
    8. Didn't see you - catching a few winks on the way home from an all night clambake.
    7. It's a mod vs. rocker thing.
    6. They just let the cloud of blue smoke trailing behind the scooter act as their "wave".
    5. Hey, if you want 140 mpg, you gotta keep your elbows and knees in and your hands down on the bars.
    4. The forty year old original hand grip on their vintage Vespa would fly apart if they let go of it.
    3. Yes, I saw you. No Gucci - no gesture.
    2. They're being filmed during a commercial shoot for a trendy lifestyle product nobody really needs.
    1. Why do motorcyclists keep pointing toward the ground with two fingers when they ride by? What is that? What does it mean?

  • July 23, 2009 5:13 AM PDT
    Thanks Lucky

    There are some good ones there.
    • 126 posts
    July 23, 2009 6:04 AM PDT
    good one Lucky. are scooters really a bike?
    • 191 posts
    September 20, 2009 4:25 PM PDT
    Good laugh guys, thanks.
  • September 21, 2009 3:28 PM PDT
    Like this one. LOL
  • September 21, 2009 3:30 PM PDT
    I can sayhave never been on back and passed a rider who did not wave.

    Beth Jerome, Idaho
  • September 21, 2009 5:27 PM PDT
    Those were good!!
  • g
    September 21, 2009 10:10 PM PDT
    lol,great .
    • 83 posts
    September 22, 2009 1:00 AM PDT
    I always wave............
    • 517 posts
    October 8, 2009 2:17 AM PDT
    Brilliant
  • April 1, 2010 10:19 AM PDT
    Funny stuff
    • 1781 posts
    April 1, 2010 10:28 AM PDT
    I wave to everyone, and most everyone wave's back.......Goldwing riders are usually the only ones that don't wave back.
    Dragon
    • 568 posts
    April 1, 2010 10:39 AM PDT
    ... and beemer drivers! LOL funny that!
    • 602 posts
    April 1, 2010 11:29 AM PDT
    OK, so you’ve been sitting around, looking at your beast of an SUV that gets 10 miles to a gallon, 11 highway, and you say to yourself, “Man, I would love to own a HOG.” (AKA a Harley.) You know you would love the gas mileage, and want to join the community that is motorcycle riders. First off there are a few things you should know.

    Know #1-Don’t get a Harley; Harleys are loud, obnoxious, and show the true personality of the rider. Harley riders are people that are also loud, obnoxious and just desire attention. Now, if that is you, then by all means, no one’s gonna stop you. Just realize that people that ride quiet bikes will know your true character.

    Know #2-Now this is the most important one, “The Wave.” Now as I said before, riding a bike is like joining a community, not quite a cult, but close. Know this: “The Wave” is an honor held only from one motorcycle to another. When passing opposite directions, “The Wave” is not only suggested, but required, unless you want to look like a tool. Rather than explain how to do “The Wave,” I can explain how NOT to do “The Wave.”

    DO NOT wave like a princess. EVER. Raising your hand and flicking your wrist in order to wave is just inappropriate. You bought a bike to look tough, not like a girl. There are two heights acceptable for “The Wave.” Handlebar height, and with your left arm totally extended below your waist. Now if you have a set of apehangers, then handlebar height is not acceptable, but you probably don’t care about “The Wave” anyway.

    “The Wave” is less of an actual wave, and more of a pointing. When performing “The Wave” simply extend a few fingers, maybe even your thumb, and hold it when there is an oncoming motorcycle. Then, resume riding. But always be on the lookout for another “Wave opportunity.”

    There are only a few times when “The Wave” is not possible. For example, if you are coming to a stop, and must have your left hand on the clutch, it would be unintelligent and unsafe to even attempt “The Wave.” In this case, “The Nod” is acceptable.

    Any man that is a man knows “The Nod.” “The Nod” is known beyond just motorcycles. It says “Yo what’s up?” without actually saying anything. Now when carrying out “The Nod” be sure it is a downward nod, NOT upward. An upward nod will make you look like a tool, and we don’t want that. Only owners of crotch-rockets will accept the up-nod, and you can draw your own conclusion to that statement.

    Now, the final, and MOST IMPORTANT rule of “The Wave” is to never, EVER, ever execute “The Wave” to a scooter. Scooters are NOT motorcycles. If a vehicle has two wheels and cannot get above 30 mph, sorry. Yes, they can be fun, but are not considered to be a motorcycle. “The Wave” is reserved for motorcycles ONLY.

    Have you ever heard of or noticed “The Wave?” If so, does the sense of community it creates make you desire to be a motorcycle owner?

    If a vehicle has two wheels and cannot get above 45 mph, sorr”The way=vey.
  • April 1, 2010 11:51 AM PDT
    I get about a 50% return rate on waves around my area, better as I go south in Mn.(maybe it's just me)
  • April 1, 2010 12:41 PM PDT
    Most everybody does it here except for the scooters, of course, and if they do it no one responds they don't count lol!
  • April 1, 2010 1:05 PM PDT
    I hope that 4 lane divided highway with heavy traffic disallows the obligation of responding to a greeting from oncomming traffic seperated by grass median at speeds of 70+ to maintain pace. I have lately found myself in downtown Dallas for several reasons and have caught a quick wave from the corner of my eye from passing opossing bikes and have wandered if they actually expected a responce and my be anoid by the lack of a return wave...Sorry if offended but self preservation is of personal objective. Those who have been "Downtown" I believe will concure..
  • April 1, 2010 1:06 PM PDT
    I doubled
    • Moderator
    • 15700 posts
    April 2, 2010 12:47 AM PDT
    Rory said...

    Know #1-Don’t get a Harley; Harleys are loud, obnoxious, and show the true personality of the rider. Harley riders are people that are also loud, obnoxious and just desire attention. Now, if that is you, then by all means, no one’s gonna stop you. Just realize that people that ride quiet bikes will know your true character.


    Hey Rory, how did you figure us out???? LOL and proud of it.

  • April 2, 2010 1:08 AM PDT
    So are we sposed to wave at scooters or not?.................... lol
  • April 2, 2010 1:27 AM PDT
    It really helps explain my commute.....very funny! lmao
    • 602 posts
    April 2, 2010 5:22 AM PDT
    Flatlander wrote...
    So are we sposed to wave at scooters or not?.................... lol



    Waving at a scooter is like...a great white shark winking at Jacque Cousteau....
  • April 2, 2010 5:24 AM PDT
    RexTheRoadDog wrote...
    Rory said...

    Know #1-Don’t get a Harley; Harleys are loud, obnoxious, and show the true personality of the rider. Harley riders are people that are also loud, obnoxious and just desire attention. Now, if that is you, then by all means, no one’s gonna stop you. Just realize that people that ride quiet bikes will know your true character.


    Hey Rory, how did you figure us out???? LOL and proud of it.


    Another proud, loud Harley owner. (they don't come stock that loud)