Motorcycle Forums » Biker/Motorcycle Humor & Jokes

We Know Your a Poser

    • 5417 posts
    March 5, 2009 10:42 AM PST

    And we know you're a poser if...

     

    • You spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth. 
    • You spend more time shining your bike than riding it. 
    • You're too cool to wave at the kids in the mom-mobile in front of you. 
    • You grab for your hairbrush before your old lady. 
    • You take your bike into the shop for oil changes. 
    • Your $500 boots aren't scuffed from riding. 
    • You think that a kick-starter is a mocha latte. 
    • You set at least one mirror, if not both, to reflect yourself. 
    • Your saddle bags say "Gucci". 
    • You carry a lap-top in your saddle bags. 
    • Your tattoos wash off. 
    • You put your pony-tail back in the drawer after you get home. 
    • You won't ride down a gravel road. 
    • You've never seen a sunrise from two wheels. 
    • You only ride on weekends, when you can. 
    • You never ride to work. 
    • All your leathers match. 
    • There are no wrinkled, faded, creased, or scratched areas on your leathers. 
    • You don't own a rain suit. 
    • You've never ridden long enough to know that stock seats are never comfortable. 
    • You've never had to replace a worn out tire. 
    • You've had to replace your tires, but because they were too old and not too worn. 
    • You like to ride by stores with big picture windows so you can admire your reflection. 
    • You ride a Ducati. 
    • Your longest road trip this year was to Hooter's for bike night.
       
    • 1161 posts
    November 19, 2009 6:32 PM PST
    lol that is funny (im such a poser right now), i need 2 hurry up and get my bike lol.
  • November 21, 2009 10:28 PM PST
    What does it make me if I only qualify for ONE of the items on that list?
  • November 22, 2009 12:59 AM PST
    Guess I must be a poser... my leathers match..all black & I don't own a rain suit..leather dries just fine at 70!!
    • Moderator
    • 1507 posts
    November 22, 2009 2:09 AM PST
    Poser.. that's funny! I think it forgot to mention something about cell phones, watches and road trips!

    I have to agree with Wildbill,, leather dries pretty fast!
  • November 22, 2009 3:06 AM PST
    I gotta a rain suit cause leather does not dry well @ 40 degrees!
  • November 22, 2009 4:04 AM PST
    I WOULD LIKE TO ADD ONE....IF YOU BY A BIKE AT YOUR LOCAL DEALERSHIP AND HAVE TO HAVE IT PUT ON A TRAILER TO GET IT HOME, YOU MAY BE A POSER.
  • December 27, 2009 2:41 PM PST
    my rain suit is a heavy denim shirt and a few do rags. cause leather shrinks when it gets wet and i am getting older and fatter!
    • 191 posts
    December 27, 2009 3:26 PM PST
    hey, hey , hey, I havent been able to get all that gear yet. I prefer the term old school, lol.
  • December 27, 2009 7:38 PM PST
    Love that description seeing as love swallowing bugs and never rode a Ducati may be hope for me as not being a poser... :)
    • Moderator
    • 16845 posts
    December 27, 2009 11:27 PM PST
    HEY LUCKY!!!
    My second bike was a DUC....
  • December 29, 2009 9:43 AM PST
    ahhh man ya'll never told me I could spit the bugs out . If I start now can I still be a poser ? Can I ? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeassssssse
  • December 29, 2009 9:47 AM PST
    LMAO
  • December 29, 2009 11:33 AM PST
    funny! i saw a rider here with a yamaha v-star painted up vintage indian with all the proper stickers, he license plate said "poser". is self outing an option?
    • Moderator
    • 16845 posts
    December 29, 2009 11:36 AM PST
    Don't think I'm a poser but I DO NOT eat bugs. I will let them hang out in my beard though. It really freaks out waitresses
  • January 2, 2010 3:43 AM PST
    I agree with most of this but my father taught me to ride on a old Ducati and an experienced rider should be able to tell which state he is riding in by the taste of the bugs! :D
  • January 2, 2010 5:17 AM PST
    Hey, I don't know if I'm one but I can learn!!! ha ha
  • January 2, 2010 6:24 AM PST
    How about counting 48 deer on the ride home at night in 20 miles ? :) PS from the bar
    • 0 posts
    February 10, 2012 8:45 AM PST
    HEY LOOK WHAT I FOUND OUT THE BACK IN THE STORAGE CUPBOARD..CHEERS BOOF
  • February 10, 2012 9:28 AM PST
    Good One now I understand Webby
  • February 10, 2012 10:41 AM PST
                                                                                                                                                                               I look at myself in windows
  • February 10, 2012 12:12 PM PST
    BOOF wrote...
    HEY LOOK WHAT I FOUND OUT THE BACK IN THE STORAGE CUPBOARD..CHEERS BOOF


    Oh goody...it's like a quiz to find out how bikery we are.

    Let's see...these two are the ones that apply to me:

    • You carry a lap-top in your saddle bags. 
    • Your tattoos wash off. 


    Not really the second one. I just have to include it cuz I don't have any permanent ink...I do have tattoo sleeves though!

    And the first one...well, OF COURSE my laptop is in my saddle bag, cuz that is how I make this one UNtrue:
    • You never ride to work.
    I ride to and from work almost every day...and my computer has to come with me!
    • 7 posts
    February 10, 2012 11:40 PM PST
    Have you ever attended one of those "dealer" bike nites? I stopped in one nite, cause I needed a clutch cable.
    You wanna see a truck-load of posers...go. Just once.
    Then, stand around and listen to the B.S. I wish I could've recorded some of those conversations. I tell ya, I was laughing so hard, I could barely ride home...

    Ride Free
    Tweek

  • February 10, 2012 11:52 PM PST
    Tweek wrote...
    Have you ever attended one of those "dealer" bike nites? I stopped in one nite, cause I needed a clutch cable.
    You wanna see a truck-load of posers...go. Just once.
    Then, stand around and listen to the B.S. I wish I could've recorded some of those conversations. I tell ya, I was laughing so hard, I could barely ride home...

    Ride Free
    Tweek


    Ohhh, That's when you find guys looking at some rat-bike which you know is still running because the owner knows how to wrench, and say, "That looks to be a pre-evo motor." LOLOLOLOL

  • February 11, 2012 12:11 AM PST
    I'm sorry........
    but I "do attempt" to spit out any bugs that didn't make it past my tongue on entry !