Is it Rude to Turn Down Friend Requests

    • 81 posts
    April 1, 2009 3:58 PM PDT

    Hi All,

     

    I'm kind of new to these type sites, but I am having a lot of fun here and I like this site.

     

    So I have a question.  Is it considered rude to turn down a Friend Request from someone I don't know or have never even talked to on the site?

     

    Why would you want to have people as friends here on the site if you don't know them, or have never talked to them?  Does it do something that I don't know about?

     

    Again, I'm new and want to do the right thing here.

     

    Thanks.

    • 5417 posts
    April 1, 2009 4:24 PM PDT

    Hi Kaki,


    First of all we are glad to have you here and really glad you are enjoying the site.


    There is absolutely nothing rude about turning down a friend request from someone you don't know, or even from someone you do know for that matter.  On sites like this everyone has their own unique approach to requesting and accepting friends, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of them.  That is of course unless they make "friends" just to send a bunch of unwanted communication.


    Some people like to keep their friend list very small with just a few select people they either already know, or they have met here in the forums, or through messaging.  This makes it easy to quicky find your friends in your list when you want to communicate.  Also having a small controlled friend list will sometimes make you feel more comfortable about having photo albums, or other content which you have marked for friends viewing only (something to keep in mind).


    Ohters like to have a large friends list with just about anyone who will accept their request, and they will accept a friend request from anyone.  These people can then set their notifications to know when their "friends" have recent activity on the site, to keep on top of everything going on, and they can also communitcate very easily with anyone.


    Again, these are personal preferrences and there is nothig wrong with either choice.

     

    So bottom line...manage your friends however you like with whatever method works best for you, and makes you most comfortable.  We are all grown-ups here and no one is going to cry (too hard at least :-) if you reject their friend request.

    • 844 posts
    April 1, 2009 6:05 PM PDT

    No it is not rude at all, and sometimes you need to do it to be able to actually use your account.

     

    For some reason there are people on every social site that feel the need to have the most friends.  For the most part they have never, and will never communicate with 99% of them.  Not sure why they do it...maybe they don't have any real friends.  Or maybe they think they WIN if they have the most friends!

  • g
    April 2, 2009 12:41 AM PDT

    IVE BEEN ON THE SITE FOR A WEE BIT NOW ,POSTED A FEW POST ,BUT NA ONE HAS EVER POSTED BACK ,SO I WOULD NA WORRY ABOUT IT ,SOME FOLKS ARE JUST RUDE .

    • 5417 posts
    April 2, 2009 5:27 AM PDT

     

    GoFur,
    Like I said, some people prefer to have a small group of friends to keep their accounts managable and easy to find the people they communicate with often, and it sounds like you are one of those.
    But I do have to disagree with your second statement classifying others because they prefer to manage their accounts differently than you do.  Again there is no right or wrong way to manage your friends on a social network.
  • April 2, 2009 8:47 AM PDT
    The operating word is "Social" network and it is up to you who you network with..
    Oh, Lucky...outstanding job on cycleFish
  • May 6, 2009 3:56 AM PDT
    If you reject a friend request, does the person who sent it get any type of notice, or does the request just go away?
  • May 11, 2009 11:59 PM PDT
    Hey i get it if it takes alot of road miles to make a brother and gain trust then just signing in can't make yoa friend, however i think they ask so they can start a friendship with ya.All friendships start with a little doubt i think especially if you've had a bad experience in the past.Be true to yourself and the rest will come. Ice
    • 834 posts
    July 24, 2009 3:43 AM PDT
    RacerX wrote...
    If you reject a friend request, does the person who sent it get any type of notice, or does the request just go away?
    I am curious about this too.

    And, another question.  Does a person get notified if you remove them from your friend list after accepting them.  I accepted almost every friend request when I first signed up, and now I want to clean up the list a little, but I don't want to make anyone feel bad.

    Anyone know for sure on these?
    • 1161 posts
    January 16, 2010 10:33 AM PST
    Nope they dont I know I send out a few and they just disappear no notices no biggy. :-)
    • 513 posts
    January 16, 2010 11:09 AM PST
    I don't think it is rude to turn down or ignore somebody you don't know.
    I have not done it myself as the friends I have on my list are there becuase at some stage I have either talked to them in topics and we have had the same views or else they have contacted me for the same reason.
    Some of the first friends i made were through playing the games, when I first joined but most were from chatting in the topics.

    There are some great people on this site, many I have things in common with that go beyond biking, I arrived here firstly because I met lucky on Facebook, my advice is especially as you are female, is send a message and ask them why they want to be friends and make you decision on that.

    And if you do and you get unwanted crap then forward it to Lucky and let the man deal with it.

    The internet is a funny thing because people can hide behind their keyboards and pretend to be anything they want. I treat it like a trip to the pub here on cyclefish, I get to talk to all you guys and am just myself, I don't see any point in being somebody else but some do and it is just a matter of lerning to tell who is and who is not.

    If somebody requests friendship, look at their profile, then look at their friend list and see how many friends you have in common and then have a look at their topic and posts and then make your decision.

    If you don't like the look of them then REJECT!

    YOU are in command of your life, don't give a damn what somebody thinks if you reject them, if they give out on open forum then you are best off without them and Lucky will take care of it and if they do that you were right to reject them in the first place.

    Be confident, be firm and once you make a decision follow it through.

    Be safe.

    The angry leprechaun.
    • 1161 posts
    January 16, 2010 11:47 AM PST
    Well Put Dyna!
    • 5417 posts
    January 16, 2010 12:20 PM PST
    Yes, VERY well put. That is probably one of the best to the point writings I have ever seen on making friends on ANY social network!!!
    • 2072 posts
    January 16, 2010 12:41 PM PST
    I once sent MYSELF a friend request and it got denied............................... I get no respect !!!!!
    • 1161 posts
    January 16, 2010 1:22 PM PST
    lol BlvdCruser
    • 190 posts
    January 16, 2010 3:44 PM PST
    Dyna wrote...
    I don't think it is rude to turn down or ignore somebody you don't know.
    I have not done it myself as the friends I have on my list are there becuase at some stage I have either talked to them in topics and we have had the same views or else they have contacted me for the same reason.
    Some of the first friends i made were through playing the games, when I first joined but most were from chatting in the topics.

    There are some great people on this site, many I have things in common with that go beyond biking, I arrived here firstly because I met lucky on Facebook, my advice is especially as you are female, is send a message and ask them why they want to be friends and make you decision on that.

    And if you do and you get unwanted crap then forward it to Lucky and let the man deal with it.

    The internet is a funny thing because people can hide behind their keyboards and pretend to be anything they want. I treat it like a trip to the pub here on cyclefish, I get to talk to all you guys and am just myself, I don't see any point in being somebody else but some do and it is just a matter of lerning to tell who is and who is not.

    If somebody requests friendship, look at their profile, then look at their friend list and see how many friends you have in common and then have a look at their topic and posts and then make your decision.

    If you don't like the look of them then REJECT!

    YOU are in command of your life, don't give a damn what somebody thinks if you reject them, if they give out on open forum then you are best off without them and Lucky will take care of it and if they do that you were right to reject them in the first place.

    Be confident, be firm and once you make a decision follow it through.

    Be safe.

    The angry leprechaun.





    Well put

    • 1780 posts
    January 16, 2010 9:36 PM PST
    BlvdCruiser wrote...
    I once sent MYSELF a friend request and it got denied............................... I get no respect !!!!!

    Now THAT was funny

    Dragon
    • 1780 posts
    January 16, 2010 9:37 PM PST
    Dyna wrote...
    I don't think it is rude to turn down or ignore somebody you don't know.
    I have not done it myself as the friends I have on my list are there becuase at some stage I have either talked to them in topics and we have had the same views or else they have contacted me for the same reason.
    Some of the first friends i made were through playing the games, when I first joined but most were from chatting in the topics.

    There are some great people on this site, many I have things in common with that go beyond biking, I arrived here firstly because I met lucky on Facebook, my advice is especially as you are female, is send a message and ask them why they want to be friends and make you decision on that.

    And if you do and you get unwanted crap then forward it to Lucky and let the man deal with it.

    The internet is a funny thing because people can hide behind their keyboards and pretend to be anything they want. I treat it like a trip to the pub here on cyclefish, I get to talk to all you guys and am just myself, I don't see any point in being somebody else but some do and it is just a matter of lerning to tell who is and who is not.

    If somebody requests friendship, look at their profile, then look at their friend list and see how many friends you have in common and then have a look at their topic and posts and then make your decision.

    If you don't like the look of them then REJECT!

    YOU are in command of your life, don't give a damn what somebody thinks if you reject them, if they give out on open forum then you are best off without them and Lucky will take care of it and if they do that you were right to reject them in the first place.

    Be confident, be firm and once you make a decision follow it through.

    Be safe.

    The angry leprechaun.




    Brother you are wise beyond your years

    Night Dragon
  • g
    January 16, 2010 10:06 PM PST
    Lucky wrote...

    IVE BEEN ON THE SITE FOR A WEE BIT NOW ,POSTED A FEW POST ,BUT NA ONE HAS EVER POSTED BACK ,SO I WOULD NA WORRY ABOUT IT ,SOME FOLKS ARE JUST RUDE .


    ok was a bit harsh last time ,think their was only about 40 members when i first came on hear ,now theirs 1000's ,will say this site is a GOOD site ,loads of great folks on it ,the banter is just getting better all the time ,TOP JOB LUCKY ,WELL DONE
  • g
    January 16, 2010 10:09 PM PST
    Seakers wrote...
    Well Put Dyna!

    what do you expect ,the guy's irish .
  • January 17, 2010 1:57 AM PST
    I didnt know anyone when I came to this site..I will accept all who invite me to be their friend.
    If after, I do not like what they post or spam me with unwanted garbage...Delete and or Ignore
    It's amazing how many good people are on this site.
    Thanks Lucky for starting this wonderful family and thank you to all who have accepted me into your circle
  • g
    January 17, 2010 5:01 AM PST
    sorry if ive never asked u to be a friend ,its not what we do in scotland ,if u like someone u talk to them ,if u dont u wont ,but i dont have a problem with anyone on hear ,u might have one with me though ! lol.
    • 190 posts
    January 18, 2010 12:03 PM PST
    Blvd that was funny Lol...cheers..as for the original question i dunno. for me i accept everybody and anybody. this is a social biker forum to change ideas and laugh and basically blow off steam. with that in mind i wouldnt read too much into the 'friend request thing other than another human being connecting with one another via Cf to just chat a bit. when the computer gets turned off its back to our lives and respoective worries etc...no harm no foul...
  • January 19, 2010 6:37 AM PST
    When I get a friend request, I normally look at the users profile first, see who they are and what they have posted..etc. I also check how many friends they have, if I see hundreds of friends and no real activity from them on the site it makes me think they are just collecting friends to have the most (not sure why), and probably aren't going be a "friend" anyway.

    By the way Dyna...Great write up on social network and friends!
  • January 19, 2010 6:40 AM PST
    If anyone denied my friend request, I would cry.