Motorcycle Forums » Biker/Motorcycle Humor & Jokes

Tough Questions...

    • 1 posts
    October 7, 2012 1:08 PM PDT
    ^ Now that would be funny sh(# if it was a joke... If it is not some one needs...well a brain.
  • October 30, 2012 2:08 AM PDT
    Have you ever been asked by a cashier to enter your PIN number? Hummmmmmmmm!!!
  • November 25, 2012 9:04 AM PST
    Why is there n experiation date on sour cream...
  • November 27, 2012 1:40 AM PST
    Guero wrote...
    Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it?

    (how many people are looking at their phone now?? wtf????)

    Its actually for BLIND or VISUALLY IMPAIRED people to know where the numbers are centered.....
    • 5417 posts
    November 27, 2012 2:06 AM PST
    Actually its for people who can type or calculate without looking at the keyboard. The F & L also have them so you know where home position is. Index fingers on the F & L when typing, middle finger on the 5 when calculating.

    Visually impaired people wouldn't be able to see the answer on the calculator :-)
    • 5417 posts
    November 27, 2012 2:07 AM PST
    Why do expensive rain coats say Dry Clean Only ?
  • November 27, 2012 8:36 AM PST
    Lucky wrote...
    Actually its for people who can type or calculate without looking at the keyboard. The F & L also have them so you know where home position is. Index fingers on the F & L when typing, middle finger on the 5 when calculating.

    Visually impaired people wouldn't be able to see the answer on the calculator :-) F & J  Lucky.

    • 5417 posts
    November 27, 2012 9:02 AM PST
    Damn, that explains a lot of typos!
    • 8 posts
    November 27, 2012 8:46 PM PST
    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

    Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

    Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

    Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

    Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

    Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

    Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

    Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

    If all is not lost, where is it?

    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

    Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy alcohol when you can't drink and drive?

    Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

    Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

    If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

    Why are cigarettes sold in petrol stations when smoking is prohibited there?

    You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

    You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

    Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

    If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter?

    How did a fool and his money get together?

    Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

    If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

    What's another word for thesaurus?

    What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

    When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

    Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

    Does fuzzy logic tickle?

    Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

    If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

    Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

    If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

    If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

    Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

    Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

    If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

    Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

    Is it possible to be totally partial?

    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

    Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

    If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the roads?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

    Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

    Why do croutons come in airtight packages?Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    If "Q" were castrated, would he become "O"?

    If Superman could stop bullets with his chest, why did he always duck when someone threw a gun at him?

    Isn't Disney World a people trap run by a mouse?

    Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

    Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

    What's another word for synonym?

    So what's the speed of dark?

    Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

    If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

    Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

    Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

    Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    And some really tough ones....

    Why is there anything rather than nothing?

    Is reality confined to what is in principle perceptible to the senses?

    Is there life after death?

    Do good and evil exist?
  • November 28, 2012 1:01 AM PST
    Hehehehehe, I Just STOLE All Of Those Above.....
  • November 28, 2012 11:09 PM PST
    I was judging at a small county fair and a little girl was showing her first lamb. I asked her how she got the lamb ready for the fair. She told me she clipped it and washed it. I asked her if she used Woolite so it wouldn't shrink.
    • Moderator
    • 1507 posts
    November 29, 2012 1:39 AM PST
    BOOF wrote...
    Can fat people go "skinny dipping"?


    We Chunky Dunk!!!

    • Moderator
    • 16734 posts
    November 29, 2012 10:15 PM PST
    WOW Ogri, that is some list! Do you know the source? A lot of them sound like one I heard from Galagher and George Carlin. Great, so I copied them for future use...
  • November 30, 2012 8:54 PM PST
    Lucky wrote...
    Actually its for people who can type or calculate without looking at the keyboard. The F & L also have them so you know where home position is. Index fingers on the F & L when typing, middle finger on the 5 when calculating.

    Visually impaired people wouldn't be able to see the answer on the calculator :-)

    In UK its directly associated with the Visually Impaired and Blind people as a centering mark for them to navigate from.....You must have a different system over there...
    • 2072 posts
    December 2, 2012 12:59 AM PST
    WHY do they put Braille instructions on DRIVE THROUGH ATMs ????
    • 611 posts
    December 2, 2012 12:50 PM PST
    why is it, if you unpack something from a box, it will never go back into the same box the same way it came?
    why does the manual say "reassemby the reverse of assembly"? Do I have to put the old valves back into the head?
    why does the manual tell me to "Disconnect the negative battery terminal" before I remove the seat? The battery is down on the right side, under the saddlebag.
    when repacking the front wheel bearings, is it really necessary to wear safety goggles?
    things that make ya say "Hmmmm..."
  • December 6, 2012 5:37 AM PST
    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck... if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  • December 18, 2012 12:01 AM PST
    I saw a lady with a t-shirt that said GUESS across the front................ So I guessed implants
  • December 18, 2012 1:07 AM PST
    Which is rounder....an orange?
    • 5417 posts
    December 18, 2012 3:45 AM PST
    Why when you pre-pay for gas does the pump have to slow down $1.00 before you get to your total purchase???
  • December 18, 2012 4:25 AM PST
    If you eat pasta...and then you have antipasta...have you eaten?
    • Moderator
    • 16734 posts
    December 18, 2012 11:27 PM PST
    Hey Mac gotta steal that one...
    • 844 posts
    December 24, 2012 6:56 AM PST
    mac117 wrote...
    If you eat pasta...and then you have antipasta...have you eaten?

    that is down right funny.  I am going to ask the waitress that next time I go to an Italian resturant!
  • December 26, 2012 5:38 AM PST
    I just want to know why there is brail on a drive up ATM.
    And when the screen changes what then?
    Kind of makes you look at the car driving up behind ya
    I would as well like to know why there is brail on the restroom doors in shopping malls air ports, restaurant, banks and other public places
    Is there brail along the walls giving direction to these well hidden places?
    • 5417 posts
    February 7, 2014 3:36 AM PST
    When you see a person with one eye, would it be rude to ask...

    Was it really all fun & games until you lost your eye?