Seven Progressions of Sex...

    • 611 posts
    April 12, 2012 7:20 PM PDT
    Awww, y'all have probably heard this 'un before...

    So Here It Is Again! (so sue me!)

    Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

    The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

    The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are still so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

    The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.  This is when you have been with your partner for a long time, your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

    The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'Screw you.'

    The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * This means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon, and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

    The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot stand your wife/husband any more.  She/He takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

    And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.  You get a little each month, but not enough to really enjoy yourself.

    Oh, MOTORCYCLE...
  • April 12, 2012 10:13 PM PDT
    Good one.....lol.....
    • 658 posts
    April 13, 2012 6:06 AM PDT
    It might be old,,,, but so am I!!!! That's a good one
    • Moderator
    • 1364 posts
    April 13, 2012 6:15 AM PDT
    Nice
    • 395 posts
    April 13, 2012 6:34 AM PDT
    i like # 4..i tend to share this one one with close friends...hahahahahaha...funny....i am so easily amused.......
  • April 13, 2012 6:38 AM PDT
    Funny!! I especially liked the way you ended it LMAO

    (if the bike comes when you call it is it still a "happy ending")
    • 658 posts
    April 13, 2012 6:55 AM PDT
    PaulaL12562 wrote...
    Funny!! I especially liked the way you ended it LMAO

    (if the bike comes when you call it is it still a "happy ending")


    LOVE IT!!!!!   Paula, LOVE IT!!!!!!

    MEDIC
  • April 13, 2012 6:56 AM PDT
    LOL, good one.
  • April 13, 2012 7:16 AM PDT
    i like number one! mmmmmm good! hahahahhahaa
  • April 13, 2012 7:42 AM PDT
    I do not qualify for any of the above...
    • 846 posts
    April 13, 2012 7:46 AM PDT
    Nice thanks for the chuckle
    • 3006 posts
    April 13, 2012 9:14 AM PDT
    Thanks Edge !! I sorely needed a decent laugh n since I aint fallin into any of those categorys,either I am miserable or highly thankfull !!! : )
  • April 13, 2012 10:15 AM PDT
    Thanks I needed that today....LOL
    • 611 posts
    April 13, 2012 11:05 AM PDT
    You are all VERY welcome! I have gone thru every-damn-one and I gotta say... #1 is really fun... #3 is what keeps us together... and (Thank God and all the saints) I have yet to experience #7.
    When I was 20 or so, I was as blue as a Smurf. I'm in my 50's and just like Toby Kieth, "I'm as good once as I ever wuz!"
    Edge "#3 & holding" Walker
    • 58 posts
    April 13, 2012 11:38 AM PDT
    After more than 31 years, number 2 can still be fun......
    • 823 posts
    April 13, 2012 3:14 PM PDT

    I never got past #4. Got there then moved on and started 1 thru 3 again. Took 22 years for the first one to get to #4. Now it is about a year and time for a change...........
  • April 13, 2012 3:41 PM PDT
    LMFAO!!!!! Love it! Love it! Love it! And yes  both genders can share in getting 'skrewed'!!!!
    • Moderator
    • 1516 posts
    April 13, 2012 3:49 PM PDT
    I was going to say good one, but ahh no.. sad one!! LOL
  • April 13, 2012 4:31 PM PDT
    Good one!
    • 0 posts
    April 16, 2012 11:45 AM PDT
    OMG! I'm on the 6th stage, does this mean I only got one more? ....................
    .........................Doubt It, HeHeHe
    • 611 posts
    April 16, 2012 3:32 PM PDT
    OMG! I'm on the 6th stage, does this mean I only got one more? ....................
    .........................Doubt It, HeHeHe

    Oh dammit! #6 is only for trained professionals! I have 3 behind me...
    My Grandson asked me "Grampa, how come you were married 3 times?" My current love told him, "It's because he's not very good at it. Poor Grampa!" He looked serious for a minute and said "Well, if he marries you Gramma Dove, I'll have THREE Gramma's!" How cute issat?
    Lady Friends... WHEN (not if) you get thru this stage... Be alone for a while (not counting friends, duh)... Don't be in a hurry to hookup/meet/find etc. Enjoy "Your Time"... It's really nice, when you try it...
    Blessings to you Lady,
    Edge "#3" Walker

  • April 19, 2012 3:10 AM PDT
    Damn, I'm working on number 6 right now, the big D on Monday....
    • 2 posts
    April 19, 2012 11:14 AM PDT
     People keep punching out as soon as the controls get a little wobbly.

    For the benefit of you youn’uns, your mother & father probably got it on more last week than you did last year. – The next time your parents ask your to drop around & mow the lawn think of what they are doing while you are working on the lawn

    Quote

    One of the most comprehensive studies on the subject, which was released in 2010 by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, confirmed this, compiling statistics on sexual attitudes and habits of 5,865 people between ages 14 and 94. An average of 61 percent of singles reported that they hadn’t had sex within the past year, compared with 18 percent of married people. Looking specifically at those between the ages of 25 and 59, 25 percent of married people reported that they were still having sex two to three times per week versus less than five percent of singles.


    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/13/marriage-sex_n_1422644.html style="font-size:7.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";color:#282828">