Yup, it's been 3 1/2 years clean now. And I wouldn't go back for anything. As far as the drinkin' goes, I still enjoy an occasional beer or glass of wine, but for the most part, it don't like me...I get terrible headaches, just about every time. So, I don't do it much. And I ABSOLUTELY won't ride or drive with a whiff of it on me, or in me. I've been down that road. Stupid. It's one's own choice to party, but you can't put YOUR choices onto others. And drinkin' and drivin' does just that. Besides...I like rememberin' what the heck I did last nite. Ya know?

Ride Free
Tweek

It's true that if they don't want help ya can't do anything. Went through the last 4 years with my soon to be ex. 14 rehabs, no, not a typo 14 and he would last a few days & walk out & straight to the pakky or a dealers.I Had to call it quits because not only did he lose a great job, but he sold just about everything we had, totaled 3 cars in a year and a half, injuring two people, one a pregnant woman and started becoming violent. I couldn't take it any more, I have 3 beautiful grand-kids and 4 kids to live for and he drove me to high blood pressure and depression and I almost lost my job.I could go on forever but the point is that if they don't want help nothing you or anybody else does will matter. I loved him more than anything but he just pushed it tooooo far, I'm still trying to pick up the pieces and move on. I give a lot of credit to those who admit there is a problem and get help. There is so much beauty in life to enjoy....sober

2 months short of 5 years here. Best 5 years of my life. I think I'll check into the reason this thread was started.

Thank you all for posting your replies, you are true inspirations. The addict whom I love is in recovery (6 months now) and sometimes I still get scared but when I read that all of you have done it it very much brightens my day and gives me hope.

~ Psychedelic, wow, meth! Now I do really have something to hold on to, thank you. You hear stories of abysmal percentages for recovery for that drug of choice but yet here you are. I have a few friends that have been in recovery long term for it, one 18 years the other over 20 so there is hope. You are right ~ we are stronger than we know.

Blessings to ALL of you!

09/23/87 is not my physical birthdate.....but the birth of a real life with eyes wide open.....

5/29/07 There is life after coke, smoke & booze! It took me 41/2 years to discover the importance of Emotional Sobriety...
A work in progress, one day ata time!
~P

Not really sure where to turn. My life has been an emotional roller coaster for over two weeks now and just when I thought things were getting better my hopes were crashed to the ground.

Just over two weeks ago my husband hit an elk on his way to work while riding his bike. Fortunately, he was wearing his helmet, although it did come off in the accident, or he would not have survived. He is hospitalized with a traumatic brain injury, the bones around his eyes broken, all ribs on the left side of his body broken, a shattered wrist and shattered tibia (bone below the knee cap). He has three bleeds in his brain and we are not sure if he still has vision in his left eye. He was in a coma for a week, the neurologist drilled two holes in his skull and he went through two surgeries within 15 hours of each other. Needless to say I have been devastated by this event.

The past few days he has made wonderful progress and I was on top of the world ~ until today. My husband has struggled with addiction for 15 years and I have been with him for the past three. I have left him before when I discovered that he was using again and I thought this time that he had been clean for close to a year. Wrong. This afternoon I found a rock of crystal meth on my wood floor while I was cleaning. He knows that is a deal breaker for me and although I love him with all of my heart I will NOT continue to be with someone using drugs.

What to do? He needs me now more than ever due to his injuries (he doesn't really have anyone else and he is not completely in his right mind yet) but I don't want to continue to be with him now that I know he is using again. I am so angry right now ~ angry because he almost died, angry because a team of 7 amazing doctors are putting him together again and a small army of nurses see to his care and all this to keep him alive just so he can go back to drugs and end up dying from it. I am so angry at his selfishness.

What to do? Anyone with any experience on either side of the issue?

Dang Trish, I am so sorry to hear that. I was just re-reading the whole thread, and seeing how you were inspired and hopeful. Then I got to the accident part. And the aftermath. I can tell you, from experience, that traumatic brain injury can and usually does cause severe depression. I can also tell you that, it can lead a person to back into using. When I had a serious wreck on "Blue", (went down on wet oily pavement) and hit both sides of my head pretty hard. Those that witnessed the accident were amazed that I lived thru it. Said I looked like a rag-doll, being thrown around....well anyways, even tho, I hadn't smoked dope in many years, that summer, after the wreck, I took up smokin' pot again. I felt "off". And reefer made me feel "normal". That only lasted a few months, til the bruising
in my brain went away and my short term memory returned. But that was reefer, not somethin' overtly serious, and I quit, again, soon thereafter.
My other addiction was way more serious, and it took near death, to finally make me figure out, that I didn't really WANT TO DIE. It wasn't meth, but it was just as addicting. I've seen what these drugs, do to people, the devastation. And it's no f**king joke.

But, babygirl, like some others have said, if this man ain't ready to quit, no threat in the world is gonna get thru
to him. I watched my ex, die at age 42. I've seen many of my friends being lowered into the ground.
And all I can tell you is...go. Live YOUR life. Painful and cold-hearted as that may seem to you. YOU aren't
the one with the problem. HE is. And unless, or until HE does something about it, YOUR life will waste away
with his. Waiting for him to come to his senses. And unfortunately, for some? It just don't happen.
Like I said, I am so sorry. I WILL pray for you both.

RIde Free
Tweek

I'm very sorry to hear this awful news OceanLily ......I looked at your post once and my first thought was RUN....then I saw Tweeks reply which I agree.I've seen the very best of folks that have had years of quality sobreity clean of drugs come through tramatic accidents with all kinds of family support and everything anyone could or would need just go all out self destruct hell bent on finishing themselves off.Men are sometimes worse than women as far as making it a living hell for those around them.Many times the required surgeries after the intial hospital stay will get them hooked up with all the legal drugs for pain management, after that doesn't fill the bill it is just a quick stop down the street to get their favorite drug off choice.Praying you are able to find some counseling and meetings to take care of yourself first.

Tweek and Gypsy,

Thank you both so much for replying and for your words of wisdom and support. Drug addiction is truly heart-breaking and crack and meth are terrible demons. This is so hard for me because he is the only man that I want, I love him with all of my heart. Like most of us who love an addict I have thought that if only I had done this, or that, then he would have been stable, he would have been okay and not went back to drugs. In reality, drugs are a choice each person makes and whatever I do or not do should not influence that decision. I know this but I can't help feeling guilt and deep sorrow over the failure of something that to me was so beautiful. I will move on and I will make a life for myself but right now it seems all but impossible to leave behind the man who is my beloved. I have to make peace with the fact that he will most likely die from his addiction and there is not a thing that I can do about it. I suppose there is some small sliver of hope that by losing the wife that has loved and cared for him so deeply and knowing what a downward spiral he has entered into that perhaps he will seek help. He is in the healthcare system for now so perhaps he will get some help.

Again, thank you both, it really helps me to know that someone cares enough to share their kindness and their story. <3

Here`s my $0.02 worth! It grieves my heart to see people hurting, the broken hearts and torn families , these are a part of just about everybodys life these days. But there is hope and a way out! over my lifetime Ive smoked enough dope to fill a tractor trailer and drunk enough beer to drown a whale, then Jesus found me, saved me, and cleaned me up for good. I dont mean to come out preaching but I see a open door! I think you should confront your husband so that he knows you found his dope, tell him where you stand, give him that one final choice , you or the dope! explain to him that he doesnt need it, hasnt had any in the hospital , wont need it afterwards! If you stay together please consider getting into a good bible believing church. The love of God is that strong and can get you through, He cleaned me up over 5 yrs. ago and Ive never looked back except to see how foolish I was. I guess what Im trying to say is dont give up unless your 100% finished and that burning love has stopped smoking. Just saying.