September 1, 2010 1:13 AM PDT
OK being new to this humor forum here is my meager attempt...
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Does the name Quasimodo ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A motorcycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory but couldn't get the film developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done
September 1, 2010 1:22 AM PDT
September 1, 2010 1:29 AM PDT
I have used many of these but can not take credit for the compilation. Got them in an email from a friend. Also my favorite humor, word play. One of my favorite comedians is Norm Crosby, the master of Malaprop
September 1, 2010 2:31 AM PDT
Yep, mine too. Funny stuff!
September 1, 2010 3:05 AM PDT
Great Job Rex...................................
September 1, 2010 8:15 AM PDT
Very good Mate..........lol
September 1, 2010 9:49 AM PDT
Poultry in Motion.......LOLOLOL Good stuff!
September 1, 2010 9:52 AM PDT
waiting for the second installment!
September 1, 2010 10:25 AM PDT
ATTA BOY Mike.. that was a great post.. you are really catchin on to this humor posting!!
September 2, 2010 5:31 AM PDT
ATTA BOY Mike.. that was a great post.. you are really catchin on to this humor posting!!
What she daid. LOL!
September 4, 2010 2:07 AM PDT
As I have seen the years pass somethings seem to strike my attention, and mybe yours also.
When camping the sexual intercourse seems more in tents.. JMHO Howard
September 4, 2010 2:43 AM PDT
Good one Howard!!!!
Those are my kinda jokes....... 