The Never Ending Belt Sander

    • 611 posts
    August 5, 2011 4:59 AM PDT
    It was a beautiful, hot desert day in Tucson. The temp was 112* and the pavement was the consistency of rhino snot. Hot, sticky & dangerous to touch. My day had consisted of chores and I was feeling like the pavement looked. One of my riding buddies had stopped by earlier and he was giving me a hard time about not going riding with him.
    “Aw come on bro” he whined to me while I was moving some rocks. “Let’s run up to the Bandit and down a coupla brews. Its too hot to be doing all this hard work.”
    I looked at him with a disgusted expression and I told him “Rick, you know I gotta do this. Maybe I’ll catchup with you later.”
    We shook hands and he left, laughing at me and shakin’ his head. As I worked in my yard, I thought about him in a cool bar, cold brew in hand and laughing at me. So, I went to the fridge and capped a cold one before returning to the sweltering heat of my self-imposed captivity.
    Four hours and six beers later I had accomplished the basics and felt that I had earned a break from the heat. I went in the house, stepped into a cool shower and when I emerged from the rain-locker, I felt much better. I went to the fridge to get another brew and remembered I only had one left.
    “Crap! Oh well, looks like a beer-run is in order. Probably should pickup a pint too, while I’m there.” I went into the bedroom to get dressed for the ride to the store. It was only 8 or 10 blocks down the street and shouldn’t take but a couple of minutes. As I stood there looking at a pair of jeans, boots and my denim riding jacket, I made a fateful decision.
    “Aw screw it. Tenny’s and cutoffs will do just fine for a short ride. Its too damn hot for all that gear. I’ll be fine.” I had drank seven beers in four hours, no water and had worked hard in 100*+ temps. Yeah, I was fine alright!
    I grabbed a handful of bungees, slammed my tennys on and went out to fire up the bike. My gal friend had the car and all I had to drive was my ‘67 rigid Triumph chop with the 12” over narrow glide front end. Sweet bike, fast and light and a blast to ride! Now remember, I’m wearing tennis shoes, cutoff shorts, sunglasses and nothing else. I also have a beer buzz, so my judgement is not 100% clear. Couple that with the fact I’m 25 and the picture becomes clearer. I am headed straight for a “Lesson Learned the Hard Way.”
    I pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall just down the street and popped into the liquor store first for a pint of Beam and then to the Circle K for a twelve pack of Bud. All RIGHT! Case-o-Bud is on sale for a good price.... Can I get a case on the chop? Is a frog’s butt water tight? ‘Course I can!
    I was running a 14” sissy bar on the back with one of those ugly-ass king/queen seats that were all the rage at the time. I stood the two twelve-bangers on their butts and bungeed those suckers down tight. Pint was peeking out of my back pocket. OK, got the picture? Oh man, all I can do when I think of it now is just shake my head and think “Dumb-ass”.
    I kicked her over and climbed on. Kicked it into first and headed for the house. As I pulled up to the exit from the parking lot, I looked left and saw a pickup coming. Traffic was heavy and I didn’t want to wait so I grabbed a handful of throttle and leaned hard right. That’s when everything went into slow motion. The rear tire had (maybe) 25% tread and when it hit the rhino-snot blacktop, it started to spin.... fast!
    Guess what? YEP, down I went! I was probably doing 25-30 when I hit the street and the rear tire was doing 60! I slid out into traffic, spewing Bud cans everywhere. There were cages EVERYWHERE! Coming up from behind, coming at me, trying to turn into the parking lot, tires squealing, brakes grinding, horns honking, complete pandemonium happening all in the space of a few seconds.... and I’m still sliding through traffic. On my right side. Nothing between me and the rhino-snot... and man, it was HOT!
    I slid all the way across both lanes and slammed into the curb on the other side of the road. Then a really odd thing happened. When I hit the curb, it stood me and the bike up! Momentum had carried me through the danger zone and then stood me up! The Trumpet was still running, so I dropped back into the saddle and eased the clutch out and wove my way through the cagers that were staring at me in shock.
    I made it back to the house in one piece and it was there that I realized several things. The pint of Beam was still in my back pocket, one of the twelve packs had made it home and the ENTIRE right side of my body was a bloody mess. The mighty Trumpet had a few spots of rash but nothing I couldn’t buff/paint away. For the second time that day, I took a shower. Only this time it was seriously painful.
    I dug chunks of blacktop and gravel outta my hide for a month. It took my body at least four months to be done with the road rash but I have never forgotten these few lessons:
    1. I call pavement “The Never Ending Belt Sander” for a reason.
    2. Stupidity can be painful and is sometimes fatal.
    3. When riding an inherently unstable vehicle, body protection is advised.
    4. Try to keep good tread on your tires. Might save your life.
    5. Alcohol impairs your riding abilities and your judgement.
    6. At all times, Keep the Shiny Side UP!
    No, I refuse to move #5 any higher. If you don’t already know this... you got some learnin’ to do, greenhorn!
    Read this, learn from it, ride safe and have fun! That’s what its supposed to be all about!
    "Ride Enjoy Repeat!"
    • 5420 posts
    August 5, 2011 11:23 AM PDT
    The amount of time you remember the lesson learned is directly proportional to the level of pain associated with the lesson!
    • Moderator
    • 1516 posts
    August 5, 2011 11:45 AM PDT
    Another great story! I love it!!
  • August 5, 2011 12:01 PM PDT
    I love ya, Edge! You should be a novelist! Great Story!
    • 3006 posts
    August 5, 2011 1:45 PM PDT
    Good post !! I can certify #2. !!!
    • 611 posts
    August 5, 2011 6:10 PM PDT
    Hey Thanx to all y'all replies. Good to know somebody is reading this stuff. This sh*t really happened and it happened to ME! Damn the bad luck... well I guess it wasn't ALL bad! Still here and kickin!
    Just hopin' some green horn'll read it and it might save him/her some pain.... Of course, when I was that age.... no way would it happen to me! LOTFLMAO.... Thanx again for reading and commenting.
    Oh, would y'all rate the story at the top of the page? Thanx!
    • 0 posts
    August 7, 2011 11:23 AM PDT
    Mate I think we used to ride together back in the day.. Pretty cool we learnt this shit and are still around to talk about it...CHEERS BOOF
    • 1161 posts
    August 8, 2011 11:00 AM PDT
    Well put Edgewalker! Wish I had the talent you have for righting. Thanks for the advice ( as a Greenhorn) it is well received.
    • 638 posts
    August 9, 2011 1:29 AM PDT
    Great story. Lost quite a few friends due to alcohol and riding. They just don't mix. Its hard enough to survive out there on two wheels when you're sober
    • 611 posts
    August 13, 2011 6:19 AM PDT
    Hey, I noticed that I have gotten over a hundred views. Could ya jot down a comment or two to let me know what ya think of my 'misadventure'? Thanx!
    Ride Enjoy Repeat!
    Edge
  • September 26, 2011 11:51 PM PDT
    Edge ~ Great Tale - One I think most here can relate too..... You - I could hang with ....
    We both "old goats" and been down alotta da same roads ....Beers to Ya Bro
    • 611 posts
    September 28, 2011 2:50 PM PDT
    slidething wrote...
    Edge ~ Great Tale - One I think most here can relate too..... You - I could hang with ....
    We both "old goats" and been down alotta da same roads ....Beers to Ya Bro


    Thanx Slide for your comment! Yep, I'm an 'Ol Goat' and damn proud of makin it this far!
    Luck and Gutz had something to do with it... Oh and God's own hand!

    RideEnjoyRepeat!

    Edge

    • 0 posts
    September 28, 2011 2:56 PM PDT
    Funny shit as y'all know its start of spring/summer down here in the tropics and she's gettin bloody warm.Well this fat old bloke here has been kickin around the yard with no shirt on and startin to get a tan..Young bloke down the shop said shit mate whats that on ya shoulder and back..Yup road rash dont tan the same as non dragged along the bloody road skin does...Reminds me why I still wear leather in the summertime..CHEERS BOOF
    • 611 posts
    September 28, 2011 4:50 PM PDT
    BOOF wrote...
    Funny shit as y'all know its start of spring/summer down here in the tropics and she's gettin bloody warm.Well this fat old bloke here has been kickin around the yard with no shirt on and startin to get a tan..Young bloke down the shop said shit mate whats that on ya shoulder and back..Yup road rash dont tan the same as non dragged along the bloody road skin does...Reminds me why I still wear leather in the summertime..CHEERS BOOF

    Thanx for the post Boof! Yep, I still have a few scars from that day. Most have faded and I have some tattoos over some so it's all good! You blokes down under have summer at Christmas... Crazy stuff! I still wear my leather in the summer too... Course it's not 110* out either! Still, keep riding and have a great summer!
    Edge

    • 2 posts
    October 1, 2011 5:48 PM PDT
    Great story and valuable lessons! Thanks for posting it.
  • October 1, 2011 6:15 PM PDT
    Loved ur story. My son had a 64 Triumph and he was 25 when he died, he also loved to drink, but it was his girlfriend that was driving a car drunk and has to live the rest of her life with the memory of being responsible for his death. I'm a greenhorn and need all the advise I can get, cause I often want to go for a ride when I'm drinking, but I also love my bike too much to do that.
    • 3006 posts
    October 2, 2011 5:37 PM PDT
    My condolences on your loss Patricia,and another example of why I dont drive drunk behind the wheel.I lost 2 friends in HS due to driving drunk.Almost lost myself on the bike back in the day,I guess we all have to test our limits at some point? I have enough experience now not to test the limits anymore.Riding when ur buzzed up good is gonna git a person in trouble real quick like.
    • 2 posts
    October 3, 2011 12:08 PM PDT
    Way too expensive to buy your Beam by the pint. - Save up until you can afford a 5th and, oh yeh, wear the gear.