OK, these aren't exactly motorcycle humor, but i thought they were kinda cute!
Dear God: We dogs can understand verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers. We can scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields. What do humans understand?
Dear God: Are there mailmen in heaven? If there are, will i have to apologize?
Dear God: When i get to heaven, can i have my testicles back?
PS God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog so I can get to Heaven...
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
May 11, 2011 10:04 AM PDT
8 and 12 gotta giggle around here mate
May 11, 2011 10:49 AM PDT
Dogs, the creators best design.
May 11, 2011 11:24 AM PDT
I guess the dog forgot the one about drinking outta the toilet bowl.
You're only a dog, old fellow; a dog, and you've had your day; But never a friend of all my friends has been truer than you always.
- Julian S. Cutler
Oh, if only dogs COULD talk, they were surely have a lot to say about how stupid people look to them.
Yes it is a really good thing dogs can't talk... they would have way to many secrets to tell on us
June 20, 2011 11:45 PM PDT
