Motorcycle Forums » Biker/Motorcycle Humor & Jokes

Free Class's !!!

    • 2976 posts
    April 11, 2011 5:50 PM PDT

    Fall Classes for Women at
    THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER


    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
    By April 15, 2011 !!!!


    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM
    .

    Class 1

    Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
    Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM..

    Class 2

    Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
    Round Table Discussion.

    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3

    Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.

    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4

    Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5

    Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
    Examples on Video.

    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    At 7:00 PM


    Class 6

    How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.

    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM


    Class 7

    Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
    Open Forum
    .
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


    Class 8

    Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!

    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 9

    I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.

    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10

    How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
    Driving Simulations.

    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11

    Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield
    .
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
     

    Class 12

    How to Shop by Yourself.

    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


    Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors

    • 0 posts
    April 11, 2011 6:08 PM PDT
    Shit mate..I gotta feelin this is gonna hurt alittle..CHEERS goodluck with that BOOF
  • April 12, 2011 3:34 AM PDT
    WOW this is so funny
    • Moderator
    • 1507 posts
    April 12, 2011 4:13 AM PDT
    Bet no one signs up!!!
  • April 12, 2011 5:01 AM PDT
    That is great! But I'm not sending it out. I don't have a death wish! LOL!!!
    • 2976 posts
    April 12, 2011 5:20 AM PDT
    My favorite #9 ..yeah incredible huh??..my "better half" thought this was funny as hell..go figure ehh??..yeah I still have one in spite of all my attempts to piss her off !!!
    • 114 posts
    April 12, 2011 10:26 AM PDT
    I'm surprised there's not one titled "How to go to the Restroom alone.... Fear not, You CAN !"
    These are too funny.....
    • 2976 posts
    March 14, 2012 6:00 AM PDT
    Hey ladys its not too late to sign up for spring class's :) just post me a check & I'll take care of all those pesky forms ;)
  • March 14, 2012 6:06 AM PDT
    HA!!! Too funny!!
  • March 14, 2012 6:55 AM PDT
    The worst part is its all so true!!!!!! Loved it. OHH SHIT THE WIFES COMING. Gotta find some porn so she dosent FREEK OUT>>>>
    • 1161 posts
    March 14, 2012 11:12 AM PDT
    Lol how did I miss this 11 months ago?!?! Haha
    • 2976 posts
    March 14, 2012 2:06 PM PDT
    Couldnt help myself was browsing some of the oldies & this one definitely brings a chuckle or two :) seriously gurls its just a joke : )
  • March 14, 2012 2:28 PM PDT
    that's why I live alone I don't have to train any one how to live in Tumbles world....................lOL! cute have a great one! "T"
  • March 14, 2012 2:38 PM PDT
    Love the humor! I especially like the one about the toilet seat. At the end of a How I Met Your Mother episode came, "Bro code #139 A bro always leaves the seat up for another bro."
    It all averages out. I've received funny emails on stuff about men. Good one!
    • 7 posts
    March 14, 2012 4:12 PM PDT
    Judging by the size of the font, I'm only guessin' here, but...You feel pretty strongly about all this, then, eh? LOL
     I know all of us women probably recognized at least ONE of those classes, we shoulda signed up for.  Uh-hum, I'm not sayin' which one, but you know, I could've sworn I saw the corresponding men's classes...

    FALL CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

    Registration Deadline September 1.  Have your Wife fill out the forms and return with class fee's.
    Due to the fact that NO WOMEN will be in attendance, bring your Blackberry

    Class 1-- IT'S MORE THAN NODDING, DUMBASS
                      How to hold a real conversation.  (Cue Cards not included)

    Class 2--THE ART OF WAR
                      Knowing how to lose gracefully.

    Class 3--KNOWING WHEN NOT TO ANSWER
                      There's no such animal.  Helpful hints on avoidance techniques. (No Refunds)

    Class 4--PUTTING A GPS ON EVERYTHING
                     We'll show you how to find your socks, keys, phone, lucky shirt...etc.

    Class 5--BRINGING UP THE SUBJECT OF A THREESOME
                     Are you freakin' kiddin' me??? We can't teach that.  Our wives would KILL US!!!
                     (We schedule a "hunting trip" -- wink, wink)

    That's all I can remember.  Oh...wait, there's one more.

    Class 6--HAVING THE RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB
                      Seriously,  we'll work with what you got...

    Upon successful completion, all graduates will receive a 5 year subscription to Sports Illustrated.  And the number of good divorce attorney.


    Just kiddin'...muahaahaaahaaaahaaaaa!!! 

    Ride Free
    TWEEK
                     


    • 2976 posts
    March 15, 2012 5:40 AM PDT
    ROFLMAO Tweek " touche " for the ladys !!! where do I sign up for class #3 ??? ;)
  • March 15, 2012 6:14 AM PDT
    blurplebuzz wrote...
    ROFLMAO Tweek " touche " for the ladys !!! where do I sign up for class #3 ??? ;)

    C'mon now Blurp...sheeesh...You would think the guy would have learned by now eh???


    Blurp...I shall spell it out for you mate, clearly, and in big bold letters, just to make sure you get it right, Right?..........


    THERE IS NO ANSWER THAT WILL EVER BE A CORRECT ANSWER!!!!!


    THEY ARE WOMEN!!!!!


    All I do is ask what they think back at them mate, and then I go off to a corner and write a message to hand to them that states....."NO MATTER WHAT ANSWER I GIVE, IF ITS THE RIGHT ONE THEN GOOD.....IF ITS THE WRONG ANSWER I ''MEANT'' TO SAY THE OTHER ONE!!!!!"


    Thats called DIPLOMACY Blurp.....


    ( Bwaaaaahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!! Did He Get A Slap Yet? )
  • March 15, 2012 6:33 AM PDT
    FALL CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
    Registration Deadline September 1.  Have your Wife fill out the forms and return with class fee's.
    Due to the fact that NO WOMEN will be in attendance, bring your Blackberry

    Class 1-- IT'S MORE THAN NODDING, DUMBASS
                      How to hold a real conversation.  (Cue Cards not included)

    Class 2--THE ART OF WAR
                      Knowing how to lose gracefully.

    Class 3--KNOWING WHEN NOT TO ANSWER
                      There's no such animal.  Helpful hints on avoidance techniques. (No Refunds)

    Class 4--PUTTING A GPS ON EVERYTHING
                     We'll show you how to find your socks, keys, phone, lucky shirt...etc.

    Class 5--BRINGING UP THE SUBJECT OF A THREESOME
                     Are you freakin' kiddin' me??? We can't teach that.  Our wives would KILL US!!!
                     (We schedule a "hunting trip" -- wink, wink)

    That's all I can remember.  Oh...wait, there's one more.

    Class 6--HAVING THE RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB
                      Seriously,  we'll work with what you got...

    Upon successful completion, all graduates will receive a 5 year subscription to Sports Illustrated.  And the number of good divorce attorney.


    Yes I quoted the entire Class Schedule, its worth repeating!! This was FUNNY !!  Thanks for the Share!! 


                     


     

  • March 16, 2012 5:12 AM PDT
    Great Stuff!! I was gonna forward this but the abuse I would receive would put the toilet seat class to shame.
    • 2976 posts
    October 14, 2013 4:25 AM PDT
    Just in case you ladys missed the fall schedule roflmao ;)
    • 44 posts
    October 14, 2013 6:15 AM PDT
    Blurplebuzz should one or more of my ex's show up could you let me know when hand gun instructor will be there
  • October 15, 2013 12:10 AM PDT
    buzz got balls or isn't married
    • 2976 posts
    January 31, 2014 3:45 AM PST
    dclemons wrote...
    buzz got balls or isn't married

    Yep !!! Both LoL

    of course this could explain my nil dating life in the last two years?!?!
    Ladies have no sense of humor  
    -running for cover !!!
  • February 4, 2014 2:16 PM PST
    I'm livin this......oh man..................................wife two daughters