This is too funny!  You can't make stuff up like that.... 

My wife blames the alcohol

As I stood there licking my eyebrows.....

Something tells me NOT to touch this one, so I'll let it pass,,,,,,,,,,,,,for now! LOL

Chicken lol

Not chicken....just don't want Lucky to ban me! LOL

OK. I asked my other half what attracted her to me......and she just chuckled. Go figure. Then she said, because I was willing to accept the whole package. Little did I know!!!  LOL  Her mother looked me in the eye and told me there were no warranties, expressed or implied!!! 

I'm just lucky Marni is nearly blind and has no sense of smell.....

My 2nd wife owned a bar and I was one of her best customer's I think after we were married and she closed the bar she got a look at me in the daylight. Too Late. One of my friends said to me Arn't you afraid of marrying such a younger woman ( 12yrs) something could happen with all that loving.( I said if she dies she dies)

Sheryl was all liquored up and to young to know any better. A double wammy!! for her!

I asked and she said.... First was the conversation. That got me a second look. then she saw the dimple and was hooked. Honest!!

Wayne your missus is right - a sense of humour is one of the best attributes a man can have and the greatest aphrodisiac. The smile got the first look (o: When he's serious he has a comfy, lived-in look and when he smiles his whole face simply shines and its hard to resist. Second was the great big hugs!!

We'd been married a short while, maybe a month or so. We went shopping, I told my new bride that a pretty young thing smiled at me; she said, "Oh yeah? The first time I saw you I laughed."

My future Ex-wife thought I was funny and a tease ( while she was still married and 9 years my Senior).