Tour de Snowy

    • 1 posts
    April 5, 2012 7:28 PM PDT
    Once upon a time, there was the motor cop...he was happy with his lot, he had his big white shiny beast, that he rode too and from work, garaged it at his home, and played everyday that he worked in the traffic. Now some days he could be a downright sneaky bastard, and hide under an overpass hidden from unsuspecting cagers...with his laser speed detection gun in his hands..dealing out fines to those wishing to tempt fate, or on any Sunday, he could be zooming around the coast road, playing games with Jappas and Mick Doohan lookalikes...you know the type all fancy leather and lean more off the bike than on it in corners... So yes the happy go lucky motor officer was in his element . He didn't think anything could be better than this.
    One day he gets some correspondence which he peruses with great enthusism...this results in a phone call , to a Sgt supervisor at another station. It seems his diligence and patience has not gone unnoticed by the King of all Traffic Cops..and he along with 5 others has been selected to escort a bicycle race, in the Snowy mountains the coming November.
    So armed with his machine on the due date..along with a Police cage, to carry the gear, he sets off on a 450 km ride with 3 others. For a nice southerly ride to Cooma...the start of the official international bicycle race meet. The Race is due to start the next day from Cooma, a big media event.... pulling into Cooma cop shop, at 3.30pm the day before he finds out that he and his other cohorts..have a hotel room up the street. Their shift is now complete and they are to meet the promotors at a banquet at 6pm..Until then their time is there own. This stuff never happens......6pm rolls around, and sure enough They meet and indeed a banquet is involved...plus free booze..anything they want.Plus free gear..to wear outside of duty. They are all given ID certs which allow them access through all check points and marchalling areas...oh did i happen to mention that the tour de Snowy is an all female event! Sleep that night came in fits and starts..and sporting a huge hangover the next morning....the happy go lucky motor officer...showed up for the start....180 women from all around the globe wearing lykra....this is the stuff wet dreams are made of. 
    At 9am the race was started with a pistol shot....first leg Cooma to Jindabyne.....with a session in Jindabyne at the finish.  
    • Moderator
    • 19007 posts
    April 6, 2012 1:59 AM PDT
    WOW, and in another post you said you keep ride stories to yourself cuz no one wanted to hear them. THis is great stuff Jonesy!
    • 3006 posts
    April 6, 2012 7:12 AM PDT
    LOL ..!!! Gotta love ladies in lycra !!! & free booze too?!?!? does it git any better than thishave to agree with the guy above me,its great stuff !!! next time I have a run in w/a CHP I'll be trying not to think of ur funny posts LOL !!!
  • April 6, 2012 10:46 AM PDT
    Of course ya couldn't miss that one! rolls eyes...........dudes
    • 1 posts
    April 6, 2012 12:50 PM PDT
    Rex I figured it out...as long as i don't post swear words or phrases and the content remains semi neutral..My posts shouldn't get deleted. That was my beef...I go to the trouble of typing a whole story..which takes up my time to share with the world. A modertor comes along and deletes it. Admitedly the last one you deleted, you gave me the courtesy of telling me the reason. I didn't agree, but understood your reasons. Thats why i decided at that time to cease writing...but I have a forum and peeps seem to like what I say..so I can't help myself...I'm a story teller..
    • 1 posts
    April 6, 2012 12:58 PM PDT
    Cooma is situated in a valley on the floor....so the ride through was brisk. these ladies set a blinding pace. I have never done this type of work before, so being at the back gave me an education, all suddent though the road starts to climb...the ladies go down through their gears and come up on the seats...thats when the fun starts...the view from the rear was excellent. Muscelled legs, tight butts, and lykra moving to and fro...never in my wildest dreams did i think escorting bicycles could be this much fun. The biggest problem i had was that I had to stay focussed so i didn't run off the road and crash. Down hill i was shocked, the speed at which these bikes could attain...Sometimes depending on the grade thee ladies exceeded 120 km/h..thats over 70 mph...I was educated at the start about these bikes...some weigh little more than 50 grams...pure professional racing bicycles. At days end I had the biggest smile on my face...I just couldn't stop grinning..neither could the other cops...even our token female officer was smiling....hmmm an officer in comfortable boots!
    • 1 posts
    April 7, 2012 3:11 AM PDT
    Pt 3. That night we were treated to a civic banquet again...the alcohol was again free...it was that night one of our crew decided he wasn't drinking, ever again. So we were shouting him Orange juice in 20 oz glasses..I did mention free booze...15 oz..or Orange juice and 5oz of vodka...which after the first 4 went 50/50....he got blind, rang his misses. She hated me for a whole 6 weeks after. he decided next day he was driving the car...no arguments would be accepted. The ladies raced around the snowfields for a whole day....luckily most of the snow had melted....and we had a relatively easy day of it...as they competed in something called a criterium...I was at a particularly bad bend for about 2 hours...I never really understood why ladies wore lykra...until i saw some horrific stacks on this bend...the lykra actually just shreds...and these girls don't wear undies....amazing....it was hard to know where to put my hands when helping them up outa the gravel ....I don't think the score cards were a huge success...but me and the emergency crew certainly got a few chuckles. That night we dined at the Black Bear in Thredbo, Karl does a wicked Schnitzel....as he always has...sometimes it helps to know people...working the snow season has its perks...especially after dinner schnapps.
    • 1 posts
    April 9, 2012 3:20 AM PDT
    Pt 4. Leaving Thedbo for Berridale, saw the ladies take up the challenge Berridale via Adaminaby for Cabramurra The highest built town in the country. It is privately owned though..The electricity commission own the whole town..even the bar..we had to pay bugger lol. What makes it interesting is the way these professional riders cheat, they slip stream motorbikes. I found myself weaving through corners on tree lined unfamiliar roads at speeds of over 140km/h, down hill and then weaving to shake off these bitches on pushbikes tail gaiting me..to get and edge on a rival...cop 3 complaints that you allowed them to do it without taking appropriate action to dislodge them, and you find yourself on the bus home. It is that serious. Thats when our education started. I thought these ladies were nice..they aren't. They are egotistical elitists..just like their male counterparts. 90 % or more are also dykes. Not that makes any difference. Especially too me..but it got some strange looks from the single men. Next moring while sitting on my bike waiting for the start...I head a noise behind me..I was a fair way from the start...so i turned around seated on the bike...usually it would be a kangaroo or wallaby...but it was a rider crouched down peeing out excess fluids...all i got was... do you mind....!..not at all..I said and turned back around...next thing I get, is her coming up alondside me on her pushy...so she was eye to eye with me...a sneer on her petite face..and french broken english...if i complain your on a bus...Darlin you do what ya think ya need too...The rot was beginning to set in. I was glad this was the last day ...
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    • 19007 posts
    April 10, 2012 11:03 PM PDT
    Lycra and spandex, marvelous fabrics!

    Keep them coming Jonesy
    • 1 posts
    April 11, 2012 11:54 AM PDT
    From Cabramurra, to Talbingo...the slog back up the hill took its toll on the women. I was told that the finish was in Talbingo and seeing how it was my turn at the wheel....I got to run front escort...which kept me about 10 km infront of the lead. Stopping traffic...when I neared the top of the hill which leads to Talbingo...I was 20 km ahead of the pack..The Snowy mountains highway was halted east bound..for 4 hours...What i didn't know,was the actual finish, was a 5 km sprint uphill...15 riders where in contention. Epic finish...taken by a young lass from South Africa...After i caught an earbashing from the Sgt...everything settled down. Us cops stood by the side...and the bike riding fraternity...congratulated its winner and runners up....congratulations were handed out all around. A damn fine young blonde lass burst through the crowd...she was dressed in green lykra...no shoes and a towel...walking past the group of assembled cops...threw her towel at me...hold this....all eyes turned to me...."what," I said Í'm holding a towel...the lass proceeded down to the lakes edge....she stripped off and plunged into the lake....mountain lakes are notoriously frigid even in mid summer..but this was November...the snow from above was draining straight into the lake... when she plunged in she had nice pert boobs...when she climbed out she stood there shivering..and glaring at me...Well she said...oh the towel...I walked up and held it out for her...she ran into it...and swivelled around soaking up its warmth...thanks...oh and thanks for the info ...your welcome i said...congrats on ya win...thanks...cya later then...Nah I think we are going home, your not...she said winking...and dissappeared back into the throng...I turned back to 5 pissed off set of eyes..."what?".....lol.......We were invited to canberra the national captital for another banquet, and trophy ceremony......The little blondie came up kissed me on the cheek showed me what she'd bought and introduced me to her lady friend...I suddenly had 6 men stading next too me...and one was the Sgt...Looking past the guys i saw Mel our token female...Mel !! i called she came over, I introduced the winner to her and her partner...and the 3 dykes, left the 6 cops staring with open fly catchinmouths....and me grinning like the chesire cat....
    • 3006 posts
    April 11, 2012 1:56 PM PDT
    LOL I bet that chesire cat couldnt grin that big as you were that day !!!))
    Thanks for sharing this !!!
    stay safe & enjoy the ride
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    • 1516 posts
    April 11, 2012 2:24 PM PDT
    Men, so easy to entertain.. lol
    • 1 posts
    April 11, 2012 2:59 PM PDT
    of course we are Deb.......lol.
  • April 11, 2012 3:37 PM PDT
    Great story and I enjoyed every bit of it. I do think they ought to outlaw men from wearing those bicycle pants though. Pretty girls should be encouraged to wear them...lol

    • 1 posts
    April 13, 2012 12:00 PM PDT
    true Strat...but then what do the womens get to look at when the tour de france losers cum a gutsa...