Motorcycle Forums » Biker/Motorcycle Humor & Jokes

Some Monday Funnies!

    • 611 posts
    January 23, 2012 6:56 AM PST
    My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that..... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my drum set.

    Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the laundry is building up!"

    I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest ‘unit’ she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

    I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
    My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

    Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change dentists?

    A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

    I was explaining to my girl friend last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening. "

    The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

    Yeah, I know... Some were real 'Groaners'... Thanx for reading tho... I laffed at them... 'course, I'm kinda twisted

    Hope ya liked a few and that they made ya grin at least...

    Edge Walker
    • Moderator
    • 16575 posts
    January 23, 2012 7:10 AM PST
    I swear I can hear Henny Youngman. Great one liners...
    • 395 posts
    January 23, 2012 7:25 AM PST
    oh my lord..they are getting worse..i feel like i'm in a bad episode of last comic standing.......uuuuuuhhhhh...you know i love you right?..hahahahahaha......keep em coming..you know i'm a little twisted too...(that's why i keep reading them)
  • January 23, 2012 8:36 AM PST
    Don't stop now Edge they are getting better
  • January 23, 2012 9:02 AM PST
    As usual Edge ! Freakn' Hilarious !!! Keep 'em coming!
    • 7 posts
    January 23, 2012 9:27 PM PST
    Got too 'em today....they work just as well on Tuesday mornin'....buahaahaaahaaaa!!!!

    Ride Free
    Tweek
    • 1161 posts
    January 23, 2012 9:42 PM PST
    Lol great 1 liners!
    • 567 posts
    January 24, 2012 1:27 AM PST
    Nuttin better than a one-liner .. 'ceptin maybe a bunch of one-liners.
    • 2975 posts
    January 24, 2012 4:19 AM PST
    LOL throughly enjoyed em !! thanks for the laughs,I may steal a couple ;)
  • January 24, 2012 4:51 AM PST
    I needed that right now!
  • January 24, 2012 5:25 AM PST
    LOL. : )
    • 6 posts
    January 24, 2012 11:13 AM PST
    Those are just wrong, funny but wrong
  • January 25, 2012 6:01 AM PST
    <<<< another twisted individual..... keep 'em comming!! LOL
    • Moderator
    • 1507 posts
    January 25, 2012 7:33 AM PST
    I was explaining to my girl friend last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening. "

    ahahahahahaha.. yikes.. he never heard the shot.. Very good, thanks EW
    • 658 posts
    January 25, 2012 7:56 AM PST
    They're great Edge, I needed a good laugh today.

    Medic