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Anatomy of a True Adult Motorcycle Rally

  • If you are seriously considering attending your first adult motorcycle rally make sure that the event you choose to attend is truly an “adult” style event. Many claim to be “adult” however, fall short of actually being any form of a true adult motorcycle rally, which will leave you with a sour taste in your mouth if you do attend and go home disappointed.

    So, for you that are new to the whole adult motorcycle rally concept, here are a few tips and pointers that should help you to better identify a true adult motorcycle rally and ensure that your first experience will be a great one that you will want to repeat often.

    21 and Over Only
    The very first thing you need to identify when seeking out a true adult motorcycle rally is that it is restricted to ages 21 and over. If the event is not being billed as such, scratch it from your list immediately, no exceptions. Many rallies that claim to be “adult only” have an 18 and over age restriction in place and I believe most will agree that 18 and 19 year olds, although adults by law, are apprentice adults at best. Males at this age typically wish to attend adult motorcycle rallies for two very specific reasons that are to drink and see naked boobies. The first is rarely done responsibly at this age and therefore often ends up disrespecting someone providing the second which has been cause for many a young adult experiencing their first adult ass whooping. Another issue with young adults is that most mature adults still view them as kids, some even having their own kids this age still in high school. Most of the women in attendance wish to enjoy the full adult motorcycle rally experience and are not comfortable with what they portray as “kids” being around them when they are letting their hair down so to speak. As for the young ladies of this age, most men do not prefer to see girls, which are not yet women, participating in adult activities. They are legal adults at 18 but little else.

    Location Location Location!
    Maybe the second most important point of concern about a true adult motorcycle rally is location. Location is everything as it is simply impossible to enjoy the fruits of an adult motorcycle rally when the location is in eyesight of the general population. It is difficult sometimes to locate and secure a great event location as such city properties are often selected, such as fair grounds for example. In addition to not being away from the public eye, the use of any public land will have certain caveats attached such as security and noise restrictions. A secluded location off of the main roads and highways is always the best. Even nearby public roads can be an issue if the activities happening within the confines of the adult motorcycle rally are not completely shielded from view. The best adult motorcycle rallies are held on private property, away from roadways and the general population. Of course a location that offers a large amount of shade is of utmost importance and a swimming hole or nearby stream is always a big plus and can be the backdrop for some great adult entertainment.

    Security
    No event is without security but the type of security and who is providing it is of significant importance. Maybe the greatest benefit of an adult motorcycle rally taking place on private property is the ability to restrict law enforcement from entering without good reason, making for a much more relaxed and enjoyable rally experience. Private security, while affective at most events, is not typically the best choice at an adult motorcycle rally. Local motorcycle clubs are often brought in to provide security at many of these events. Yea, those mean old 1% dudes you hear about, they do a great job and provide several advantages over local law enforcement and private security companies. One of the greatest benefits is that these folks understand bikers and know when and how to stop a situation from happening with the least amount of disruption and fan fare. Second, the local motorcycle clubs have a relationship with all of the other local motorcycle clubs and even with local law enforcement, which helps reduce any chance of incident. Motorcycle clubs have been quietly handling security at motorcycle rallies for decades, they are more skilled and qualified at this than any other group of individuals.

    No Cages Allowed!
    There is nothing worse than having to keep yielding to car traffic at any motorcycle rally, adult or otherwise. While there are few left in this country, the absolute best adult motorcycle rallies do not allow 4 wheeled vehicles through the front gate, including golf cars and such. Being able to walk around and enjoy a rally without having to constantly look over your shoulder to see if another car is coming is the only way to party and there is nothing worse than getting stuck behind a car while taking your biker babe on a topless ride down titty ally. If at all possible, avoid any adult motorcycle rally that does not prohibit cars through the gate. At the very minimum a good adult motorcycle rally will prohibit cars from driving around inside the rally area!

    Food, Drink and Ice Vendors
    While many who attend adult motorcycle rallies enjoy getting out and riding each day, there are just as many who prefer to park the bike and never leave the rally grounds the entire weekend. If you are one of the latter then it is imperative that food, drink and even ice are available on-site. For most motorcycle rallies, this is a given but it does not hurt to be sure.

    Entertainment
    Live music and other activities are always a big plus at any motorcycle rally. If you are particular about your music, you should check out the line-up before purchasing your ticket but in all honestly most that attended adult motorcycle rallies don’t choose which rally the attend based on who will be performing on stage each night, as long as there is a band playing, that is all that is really important. The adult entertainment can vary widely from one adult motorcycle rally to another, some limiting the on-stage action to a wet t-shirt contest while others may have far more explicit adult related contests planned throughout the weekend. Many of the adult activities that are planned are not advertised on the run flyer, you’ll have to check the event website or do a little searching on your own for more details.

    Who is Hosting the Rally?
    Last but certainly not least is knowing who is hosting and sponsoring the adult motorcycle rally. While there are few exceptions, typically adult motorcycle rallies that are hosted by large promotion companies and supported by corporate sponsorships are anything but adult related. Promotional companies are in it to make large profits for themselves so the organic nature of a true adult motorcycle rally will get lost in the production of it all. As for large corporate sponsorship, most major companies will not put their name behind an event that condones behavior that may not be well received by the main-stream so it is fair to reason that corporate sponsorship means very limit adult style activities. Take for example Harley-Davidson, when was the last time you saw their name tied to anything that showed even the most tasteful portrayal of nudity? So, beware of any event calling itself “adult” that is tied to any corporate sponsorship as you are sure to be disappointed, with very few exceptions.

    While none of these tips are meant to be hard rules to follow, they should provide anyone wishing to attend their first true adult motorcycle rally with enough insight to be able to evaluate each rally and make an informed decision. Choose your rally wisely then pack up your sexy rally apparel and head on out and enjoy first-hand the true enjoyment of adult motorcycle rallies!

Comments

2 comments
  • wheels Can we kill the kid who rides that mini bike around camp every year at the Abate rally on the Kern river?
  • BikerCrap LOL...that kid is a cool kid Wheels, he's been going to that rally since long before he could ride that little bike, now he's outgorwn it. We camped next to them last year!