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Dear God:

  • HDBeech
    • Moderator
    • 277 posts
    July 6, 2010 6:04 AM PDT

    Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
    1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
    2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
    3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
    4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
    5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
    6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
    7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
    8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
    9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
    10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
    11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
    12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


    P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back.
  • Krum
    • 119 posts
    July 6, 2010 6:08 AM PDT
    LOL how true
  • TACO
    July 6, 2010 6:09 AM PDT
    i wish someone would kick my wifes purse.....cause my balls are in it....
  • DebraJo
    • Moderator
    • 1516 posts
    July 6, 2010 6:13 AM PDT
    That was a good one Laura.. Taco.. HUH?
  • highrisk
    • Moderator
    • 1364 posts
    July 6, 2010 6:15 AM PDT
    debrajo62 wrote...
    That was a good one Laura.. Taco.. HUH?




    Taco is NOT the BOSS at HOME
  • TACO
    July 6, 2010 6:16 AM PDT
    still have the shaft....but lost the ball bearings......lol
  • Deleted Member
    July 6, 2010 6:38 AM PDT
     I don't know.....  I kinda like the idea of # 7.....   It sure beats the hell outta sniffin their armpit!
  • Deleted Member
    July 6, 2010 6:41 AM PDT
    It also beats the Crocodile Dundee method. Won't startle them as much!
  • Deleted Member
    • 1780 posts
    July 6, 2010 6:46 AM PDT
    Now THAT was funny...and Taco.....uh, well, uh don't really know what to say......at the very least ...your up shit creek without floaties.
  • ezzyrider
    • 568 posts
    July 6, 2010 11:50 AM PDT
    dear dog (HDBeech household),
    have ya pissed off yer mistress of late?!

    yer god.
  • Deleted Member
    • 1066 posts
    July 6, 2010 3:48 PM PDT
    Good one Laura, and look at all the laugh lines you got from it.
  • Deleted Member
    July 6, 2010 3:55 PM PDT
    bikersarge1 wrote...
     I don't know.....  I kinda like the idea of # 7.....   It sure beats the hell outta sniffin their armpit!


    Thats cause you have a rodent hanging around your neck. wait till he gets done sniffin you!!! LOL
  • Deleted Member
    July 6, 2010 9:32 PM PDT
     That he was a she... And... She liked to snuggle.. She also nuzzled my ears real good!
  • RexTheRoadDog
    • Moderator
    • 19043 posts
    July 7, 2010 11:25 AM PDT
    Laura, a dog needs to be a dog...