September 8, 2013 10:28 AM PDT
Craigslist motorcycle for-sale ads provide a study in linguistic inscrutability. To assist the prospective buyer, herewith are some authoritative translations, developed through painstaking research and analysis:
- "A few cosmetic issues" = Plastic is totally hashed from repeated biffs. Also has bent frame, tweaked forks, broken brake/clutch levers, etc.
- "Converted to naked bike, street fighter" = Hashed plastic removed to hide evidence of repeated biffs.
- "Rear tire 50%" = Completely worn out from doing burnouts. Dangerous to ride.
- "Front tire 80%" = Visually fine but completely shot. Cupped so bad the mirrors shake at speed. Don't try turning.
- "Slip-on exhaust, race filter, sounds awesome" = Deafening, illegal pipe. Never rejetted/remapped. Extended lean condition has warped heads.
- "Never raced" = Never finished. Engine seized in first qualifier.
- "Mint, babied, showroom condition" = Neglected maintenance.
- "No time to ride" = Neglected maintenance.
- "Financial issues, hate to sell" = REALLY neglected maintenance.
- "New baby on the way, toys gotta go" = Time to upgrade from this P.O.S.
