The Polite Way to Call Someone a Bastard

    • 611 posts
    January 15, 2012 1:07 PM PST

    A biker was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

    They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The biker said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

    The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
    As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.
    He confessed to the biker that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
    The first fellow revealed that he was a preacher that also rode motorcycles.

    The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The biker said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

    The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

    The preacher said, "Well, you could come to church on Sunday and make a donation..... And, if you want to, bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them.
    • Moderator
    • 1516 posts
    January 15, 2012 1:27 PM PST
    lol and I was wondering why anyone would want to be polite when they called someone a bastard.. silly me
    • 1161 posts
    January 15, 2012 7:04 PM PST
    Lol
    • 395 posts
    January 16, 2012 12:10 AM PST
    subtle jabs are always the best...especially followed by a smile.......
  • January 18, 2012 12:48 PM PST
    I told my pastor this one. We were playing 'dartball' (oversized darts thrown underhand at a board that is set up like a baseball field). Got him so flustered, he had a hard time pitching his next darts. Hit the first three in strikes - of course he was on the opposing team.