Defective Parrot

  • December 8, 2011 11:26 PM PST
     . ...A guy is browsing a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a perch.

    it dosent have any feet or legs.

    The says aloud...Geesh...I wonder what happened to this parrot ?

    The parrot says. ...I was born this way.

    Im a defective parrot.

    ...Holy Crap ! ....the guy replies.

    ...You actually understood and answered me !

    I got every word...says the parrot.

    ..I happen to be a highly intelligent, and throughly educated bird.

    ...Oh yeah ?....the guy asks.

    Then answer this...how do you hang on your perch with out any feet ?

    ...Well, the parrot says...this is very embarrassing...but since you asked...I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a llittle hook.

    ...You cant see it because of my feathers.

    ...Wow...says the guy.

    . ..You really can understand and speak english...cant you ?

    ...Actually...I speak both Spanish and english....and I can converse with people with reasonable competence on almost any topic...political...religion...sports...physics...and philosophy.

    ..Im especially good at orinthology.

    ...You really ought to buy me...Id be a good companion.

    The guy looks at the 200 dollar price tag.

    . ..Sorry....but I just cant afford that.

    . ...Psssssttt. ...says the parrot. ..Im defective, so the truth is...nobody wants me, cause I dont have any feet.

    . ..you can probably get me for 20 bucks. ...just make the guy an offer !

    The guy offers 20 bucks...and walks out the door with the parrot.

    Weeks go by.

    The parrot is sensational.

    He has a great sense of humor...hes interesting...hes a great pal...he understands everything...he sympathizes...and hes insightful.

    The guy is delighted.

    One day he comes home from work and the parrot goes...Psssssssssst. ...and motions him over with one wing.

    . ..I dont know if I should tell you this or not...but its about your wife and the UPS guy.

    ...What are you talking about, ask the guy ?

    ...When the UPS man delivered the package today...your wife greeted him at the door....in a sheer black nightie.

    ...WHAT ?!?!? ....the guy asks incredulousy .

    . ...THEN...what happened ??

    ...Well...then the UPS man came into the house.....and lifted up her nightie.....and began petting her all over...reported the parrot.

    ...NO ! ..the man exclaims...and she let him ??

    . ....Yes

    . ..Then he continued taking off her nightie....got down on his knees.....and began to kiss her all over.

    The frantic guy demands. . ....THEN WHAT HAPPENED ?!?!?!?



    . . . ....Dunno, says the parrot. ...I got a hard on. ...and fell off my perch. 



    . . . . . . .. . .......................... 


  • December 9, 2011 12:05 AM PST
    Oh, now that is a good one.
    • 395 posts
    December 9, 2011 12:11 AM PST
    that was funny...thank you.
    • 846 posts
    December 9, 2011 1:53 AM PST
    I agree that was a good one. Thanks
    • 611 posts
    December 10, 2011 12:49 PM PST
    old one... but it still makes me grin...