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Mountain Bound

  • It's been one heck of year for me.  My life has done this 180, that I wasn't prepared for.  I've had to experience things, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  And...I've also been blessed.  Blessed by friends, here on Cyclefish, and here, where I live.  Unfortunately, one side effect of this past year, is that I find myself, in a funk, most of the time.  Depression.  I know that's what it is, cause I have all the lovely "clinical" symptomology.  No joy, in just about anything. (And I live in a BEAUTIFUL home, with a gorgeous yard, and view). Crying. For no apparent reason, other than I can. (oh...but I have reason). Extreme moodiness. Mostly, I find myself, pissed off at the world.  And I bark at the two people I should be loving the most.  I go to church.  I go to bible study, I go and help the homeless.  But I feel like I'm "going" thru the motions.  And I pray, incessantly.  But, alas, that too, doesn't "feel" the same lately.  

      I am going to Saluda, North Carolina, this coming weekend. On a four day spiritual retreat. And the only "expectation" I have, is to enjoy some quiet time, in a beautiful place, with some beautiful people.  To be closer to God, and feel HIS presense.

    Would I like it to be the place, where all of my past problems, and their "fall-out", finally find peace and resolution?  Sure.  But, if I want God to show up, in a BIG way, I have to go without agenda.  I have to go without expectation, I have to go with an open mind, and an open heart.  And...I have to go, because I feel I'm being "lead". That, that's where HE wants me to be. 

    So, I'm going.  I will keep all of you, in my thoughts and prayers, and I only ask, that you do the same, for me. 

    I LOVE YOU ALL! 

     

    Ride Free 

    TWEEK

Comments

4 comments
  • LolaMagdaleneScott your always in my prayers lady..i will pm you my phone number....call if you get over this way..i'm still saving that cold beer for ya.......have a safe trip.....(and don't sell the # to the boys for extra gas money...hahahahahahaha)............
  • blurplebuzz Prayers sent Tweek : ) I have a good feeling for ya on this !!! & I wish a lot of us could join you , tho I cant imagine a bunch of cyclefishes showing up would make for a quiet retreat ehhh???? LOL
    Have a most enjoyable weekend !!! : )
  • LCStrat It sounds like you are on the right track. Part of the grief process includes being mad at the world. Praying for you and that God walks you through this tough dry place into His glorious filling and presence. God bless you!
  • Jimmyacorn I'm far from spiritual and I may have no business even commenting but, as near as my 60 plus years have gone, I've learned that God doesn't lead you to a place. He walks beside you along your chosen path. God doesn't make you fall. God doesn't lift...  more