When personalities CLASH....

    • 9 posts
    January 21, 2012 8:46 AM PST

    Ok, this scenario is just one of many ways this situation can come about, but I'd like some honest opinions on what others think, is the right way to handle it. K?

    So, I've got this new roommate, just moved in a week ago today, to the house I've been in for almost a month.  Kinda got things arranged the way I, and one other roommate could work with.  We knew ahead of time, someone else was coming, so we knew there might be some re-adjustments necessary.  No problem, right?  Well, there have been some problems.  One, (and this is a big one, for me) she brought her dog.  That in and of itself is not the problem, I love dogs.  I used to train dogs.  The problem is, that this roommate is barely in the door, and informs us, that "we" could let her dog out, whenever it needed to go out. I had told her when she walked in, that because of my knee issues, and the stairs on the porches, I wouldn't be walking her dog for her.  Period.  One, the dog isn't MY responsibility, two, I just don't think it's right for anyone to assume, just because your roommate's, that they have a share in taking care of that animal.  I have a cat, and I wouldn't even ask anyone to care for her in any way, unless some kind of health emergency (mine) came up, and I couldn't be here to care for her.  That's an extreme circumstance, and I would be willing to try and help out in a case like that.  She is resentful over this, and even asked me, "well what's gonna happen, when I go to work full-time"?  I told her, she should have thought about that, before she brought a dog into this situation.  At the very least, come and talked with us about it.  She seems to feel, that since the owner's of the property gave her the go-ahead on bringing the animal, that she doesn't have to check with "anyone else".  And now, because of this one issue, other things are coming out that are making me resentful.  Like, her letting the dog out when it's wet, and then letting it run all over the wood floors with muddy feet, and not cleaning up after it!  Good Lord, the woman knows what I do for a living, but I'm NOT the maid for her, or her damn dog!!!  I tried to talk to her and the other roommate at a house meeting, about personal responsibility, but now it's like she's just gonna blow me off on purpose.  This is ALL of ours' home.  The owner's are Christian folks, who knew we were all on hard times, and are helping us ALL out.  So I don't want this to turn ugly, cause one or both of us could end up on the street. And the roommate is also bending the owners' ears, and sucking up, to the point of nausia, trying to prove how awesome she is.   So my question is this, what the heck do I do now, since just trying to reason with her, doesn't seem to work???  FYI, this same roommate is never home. She basically, sleeps, and showers here.  I'll take any and all advice with an open mind.  Thanks, Ya'll!

    Ride Free

    Tweek

     

  • January 21, 2012 8:55 AM PST
    Sounds to me like you n roomie #2 best be looking for a nice within reason 2 bedroom place some where. that will allow you to have your cat.
  • January 21, 2012 8:58 AM PST
    Sounds like you have to talk to the home owner express your thoughts on the problem and try to work it out with the 3rd. wheel. Does your other room mate have anything to say about the matter if so another opinion woulld't hurt your case either . Stand tall girl and don't take any crap from any one if that place is the only option you have for now. Webby
  • January 21, 2012 9:03 AM PST
    I feel for you. Your right she should have talked to you about the dog before she moved in. She is wrong expecting you to care for her dog, that is her responsiblity, not your's. You need to talk to the owners about her right away. Tell them exactly what she is doing with the dog and what she expect you to do for the dog. Let them know you are unable to do it even if you wanted to. Let them know every thing even that she is not there alot and she is not cleaning up after the dog. Let them know that the dog could damage their floors and she does not seem to care.
  • January 21, 2012 10:12 AM PST
    Wow! Completely agree with the masses here. This third roomy needs to show some respect and be responsible for her own dog. This isn't up for discussion in my book. I'm sure if the owners knew she was making it miserable for you and roomy #2, they'd probably have a chat with her. There are sacrifices people need to make when they have roommates but taking care of another's pet and cleaning up after them is not one of them unless its agreed upon. I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully she and the dog will go for a long walk and you can get another, more considerate roommate.
    • 0 posts
    January 21, 2012 11:00 AM PST
    Tweek old darl..My Enfield 303 kills em cooks em and skins em in one easy step.....Cheers Boof
    • 9 posts
    January 21, 2012 12:10 PM PST
    BOOF wrote...
    Tweek old darl..My Enfield 303 kills em cooks em and skins em in one easy step.....Cheers Boof


    Yeah, BOOF.....that Enfield.  It would work in more than one capacity, eh?

    Ride Free
    Tweek
    • 1 posts
    January 21, 2012 12:23 PM PST
    LOL@ Boof comment... Yep pets are a lot like children, or at least mine was. They need cared for and feed bathed the whole nine yards. It is a parents/owners responsibility to do that...Noone else's. Now as far as what to do you could let the dog out and not back in, just saying...;D
    • 1161 posts
    January 21, 2012 5:10 PM PST
    Well I give you props because I tend to get angry with pet owners that don't clean up, take care of, and watch their own pets and my puppy is 7 months old and this is not the first dog I have had. But don't be pushed around by this new person to let out watch and clean up after her animal! She wanted it she can watch it and clean up after it as well just like every responceable pet owner dose!
  • January 21, 2012 5:54 PM PST
    A pet is a personal responsibility that should not be pawned off on others. Perhaps this could be addressed diplomatically? My gram always said you get more flys with honey than with vinegar....not that anyone would want any flys.
    • 3006 posts
    January 21, 2012 6:43 PM PST
    LOL aint life a beach?? ; )
    much as ya love mutts,it aint easy i know to have to in essence turn ur back on an animal sorely in need of some real affection from a human who actually cares about em.None the less,its NOT your responsiblity,the sorry excuse for a roommate that is the dogs owner should never slough off the job on others,roommates or not !!! Tho typically I always have done this sort of duty for my roommates gladly since I enjoy 4 legged creatures ; ) and it was discussed in advance !
    try to create an atmosphere for communication,sometimes in life it pays to try the path of least resistance,get the owner involved only as a last resort,i'll bet you can handle it in a manner thats beneficial to all concerned ; ) who knows you may even do a good deed in the process !!
  • January 22, 2012 1:16 AM PST
    So here's an idea...How about talking to your roomy about getting a dog house and kennel or dog run and keeping the dog outside? Not so much avoiding the issue as a peaceful solution. You had said you were having problems with raccoons and they tend to avoid dogs, so you fix two problems at once!
  • January 22, 2012 1:30 AM PST
    Just say no...............
    • 658 posts
    January 22, 2012 1:30 AM PST
      with everyone else.
     
    Since you and your other roommate were there first, the owners should have talked to ya'll about the dog before giving her the green light.  Sometimes when people are trying to do the right thing, they don't see the whole picture or how it effects others. It sounds to me that if she is blowing smoke up the owners butts then what she is hiding will come out. You and your other roommate should talk to the owner and let them know about the situation with the dog. You also need a plan B to put in place. Remember, They created the problem, they need to fix it.

    Hang in there Kiddo,
    Medic
  • January 22, 2012 1:52 AM PST
    I'm with Bikermedic, take it to the owners with the other roomie. If they don't solve it, start looking for another place.
    • 9 posts
    January 22, 2012 10:42 AM PST

    Well, let me just say, that the response is nothing short of spectacular.  Not only that, but some of Ya'll have tried to kill two birds with one rock, combining this and the 'coon issue.  I really don't know how to show my gratitude, other than to say....THANK YOU!  I'm not sure just how to handle the "roommate".  It's a damned if ya do, damned if ya don't, catch 22, mutha-f..ka of a situation.  (And that's another thing....I been tryin' to quit cussin' so much, and this Miss Thang, she could make a trucker, blush).   I know, that the Landlords, (my benefactors), have no "real idea" what this girls deal is, and it won't do me, a lick of a favor, to be the bearor of bad tidings...feel me?  So, I'm just gonna ride it out, and grin and bear it.  I WON'T be takin' care of her dog, or it's mess.  Or her's for that matter.  I ain't her personal maid.  But I WILL, continue to support and maintain the ideals I had, and the person I am, the day they met ME.  I have talked to them, about this, and said MY peace.  The rest is up to them.  If it goes the way I feel in my gut it will, she won't be here very long.  OR...I won't.  Either way, I know who I can count on. 

    Ride Free 
    Tweek




  • January 22, 2012 11:24 AM PST
    Hang in there girl do what you think is right.
    • 658 posts
    January 22, 2012 12:43 PM PST
    Amen Tweek!!! Thata girl, Her light will shine through. It always does.
  • January 22, 2012 6:03 PM PST
    personally after whats been said here,I wont clean up after anybody person or dog and I'd make certain the dog shat in the owners room. Just sayin...
  • January 22, 2012 11:34 PM PST
    Antifreeze
    • 1855 posts
    January 23, 2012 12:00 AM PST
    Who signed the rent agreement? Throw her out!!!!!!


    Peace
  • January 23, 2012 1:50 AM PST
    I don't see any reason to punish the dog for the transgressions of it's owner.
    • 0 posts
    January 23, 2012 10:47 AM PST
    I would find the dog a new home with a good family and room to play outside.
    • 395 posts
    January 23, 2012 10:54 AM PST
    Honestly..i would clean up....find out when she gets paid, and the moment she walks through the door on payday hand her the bill..and make it steep..then stand there with your hand out...she will get the point real quick....
    • 1 posts
    January 23, 2012 11:28 AM PST
    so this is america right...shoot the owner and keep the dog....