My Friend Dale in Illinois

    • 223 posts
    August 30, 2010 1:37 PM PDT
    I'm not a praying person, but I do believe in positive energy.  So however you do things, I'd like to ask you all to remember my friend Dale and please send prayers, good thoughts, and/or positive energy his way.  He's been a constant presence in my life and one of my dearest friends since I was 15 years old.  He saved my life twice; once when I was 17 from a cocaine overdose and once when I was 18 from an abusive relationship.  He's seen me through so many things and even when we were thousands of miles apart, he was just a phone call away and if I had called and said, "I need you," he would have been there.  Truth be told, he's saved my life a lot more than just twice, just by being there when I needed him, whether he knew it or not.

    He's a prostate cancer survivor and he told me tonight that in May, he was diagnosed with lung cancer.  He's 71 years old and has always looked out for me.  He's not good, he tells me he's spent most of the time since May in hospitals and nursing homes and I just can't fathom his loss of independance.  He's a strong man, always has been and although I knew this day would come, I refused to allow myself ot acknowledge it.

    Ron and I are heading out Thursday after I get off work for Illinois.  It's about a 9 hour drive but I have to go.  I haven't seen Dale since June of 2006, but we stay in touch via email and phone.  Ron's never met him, but he's heard a lot about him and I'm glad two of the most important people in my life will have the chance to meet.  Edmond met him when I was pregnant with our son James, who is now 17 (edit, I forgot, he met him when I was pregnant with our daughter Teagan, who is now 18, I"m rather lame tonight) and even though we divorced, Dale always asked how Edmond was getting along.

    I don't know how I'm going to handle this, because I know he doesn't have much time left.  Needless to say, I probably won't be on much for awhile.  Thank you all.
  • August 30, 2010 2:39 PM PDT
    If it's his time, it must be so. But, without knowing him, I can see that he did it right. For, it is so obvious that he changed the life of at least one and so he has left a legacy. The fact that you are going to him will settle in his soul and provide him some comfort in his internal query of "was I a good man?" when the moment is upon him.
    • 223 posts
    August 30, 2010 2:43 PM PDT
    Thank you Defcon, he's one of the best men I know of that's ever walked the face of this earth. I don't know where he is, I lost his number (he finally got a cell and got rid of his home phone, a number I've known for almost 30 years) when my Blackberry crashed so I have no way to find him, so if he doesn't get back in touch with me before the weekend, to hell with the rest of the world until I do find him.
  • August 30, 2010 2:48 PM PDT
    I was a bounty hunter in a previous life known as my twenties. If you need help tracking him down let me know. I'm not THAT rusty yet.
    • Moderator
    • 1516 posts
    August 30, 2010 3:24 PM PDT
    My positive thoughts are with him.. I wish him the best of situations as what happens comes to be. Life is not always fair.. but it is what it is.. and it sounds like he is a great man. He has you and yours with him, he is a lucky man. My positive thought are with you too!!
    • 223 posts
    August 30, 2010 3:32 PM PDT
    Thank you, Debra Jo,

    He's an amazing man and although I know how strong he is, I also know he's strong enough to let go, just like he taught me to do so many years ago. Hopefully, I'll see him Friday. I know if it wasn't close, he wouldn't have told me.
    • Moderator
    • 1516 posts
    August 30, 2010 4:06 PM PDT
    Razncain.. I with you and him the best with all my heart girl, this will not be easy!! We are here for you, we may never have met face to face, but we are real and anything you need let us know!!!
    • 223 posts
    August 31, 2010 11:00 AM PDT
    It's definitely times like this I miss my own bike. Can't just get out on the road and clear my head like I used to. I did locate his business phone number and emailed an employee of his, so perhaps I'll find him without too much trouble after all.
    • Moderator
    • 1364 posts
    August 31, 2010 12:08 PM PDT
    Thoughts and prayers to Ron and to you Beki
    • 9 posts
    August 31, 2010 12:15 PM PDT
    Best of luck to you both, He will be forever grateful for your love & freindship. He helped you & now you are helping him. So be it, in trust!
    • 2072 posts
    August 31, 2010 1:24 PM PDT
    Beki, Ron will be in our prayers as will you. It is hard to see a loved one suffering. From what you have written, he sounds like a remarkable man that DID make a difference in the world. No matter how this turns out I know you will always have a special place reserved in your heart just for him.
  • August 31, 2010 2:04 PM PDT
    My best wishes for peace and happiness for you both.His gift of love will always be in your heart.
  • August 31, 2010 2:22 PM PDT
    Beki, one day at a time.... he lived a good life as it shows in you how he lived his life! You are good person to go to him now in his time of need .... that is what friends do for each other and we will be here in your time of need! HAng in there -- our thoughts and prayers are with you all!
    HUGS
    • Moderator
    • 19067 posts
    September 1, 2010 1:06 AM PDT
    All things must pass, even the good ones. It is evident that Ron is a great man and his love and affection has made your life better. That is the best legacy any of us can hope to leave. Only Positive thoughts from me to you and Ron.
    • 568 posts
    September 1, 2010 8:59 AM PDT
    best wishes and strength to Dale, and kudos and also strength ta ya and Ron, for going and be with him!
    • 223 posts
    September 3, 2010 3:13 PM PDT
    We were able to visit with Dale very briefly today, he just couldn't tolerate a long visit. We spent the evening though, with my son Jon, daughter-in-law Amanda, and my granddaughter Erica and had a great visit. Tomorrow, we will leave early and go to Terre Haute, IN (it's only 50 miles away) to visit my PaPaw's grave, then back to my son's for awhile until we're able to return to Urbana and visit with Dale again; this time hopefully for a little longer. It's so hard to see him like this, and he told me as he was about to leave the hospital last time and return home, his son was leaving Atlanta to come here to help him go back home. He was running late, so Dale got another ride and waited at home for his son, only to learn a little while later from his daughter, that his son had been in an accident just after crossing into Illinois and did not survive the crash. This was only 3-4 weeks ago so he REALLY needs prayers, good thoughts, and positive energy right now. Dale was extremely close to his son, so this has literally been a hell of a year for him.

    We'll head home for KS tomorrow evening after we visit with Dale and that's when all this will finally hit me.
    • Moderator
    • 19067 posts
    September 3, 2010 8:38 PM PDT
    Wow tragedy on tragedy. Only good thoughts for Dale, his family, and you and your family...