Single Women how do you do it?

  • February 24, 2010 4:11 PM PST
    Just reading through this thread leaves me feeling so humbled. I too stuggled as a young single mother, as so many others have and do today. I was young and dumb then and didn't worry like I do today. At times I would work 3 jobs to make ends meet and be going to school at night. It was so much easier as a young woman. Now that I'm older, it seems so much more difficult. I am grateful not to have young children that depend on me today. I don't think I could do it.
    Fxrdude, I have so much admiration for you taking on the responsibility of raising those 2 wonderful boys. I hope you bring them to Kentucky with you, so we can all have the opportunity to meet them along with you.
    Brat and Stephanie, you both give me strength and make me remember that lifes challenges are able to be overcome. Life has thrown many curves and dealt some lousy hands at times, but has also given me many blessings.
    SWA1066, I have been in the same exact place you are for quite a while. Sleep doesn't come easy when you worry about the basic nessessities to survive. Its a wonder my floor doesn't have a trench in it from the pacing I have done.
    It does get better though. Right now things are better. I have been working a job that pays crap, not enough to pay the bills. I've been getting some extra shifts lately at one of my jobs due to bad weather. No one else wants to drive on bad roads. Thats been good for me, I'll go! My crappy paying job is coming to an end soon and today I was called on a new job. I'll be making twice as much. Thank goodness!!! Best of all I have the love and support of a wonderful man today. I don't have to struggle with decisions on my own. There is someone for me to seek advice from and talk to about things that are worrisome. Just knowing someone is in my corner cheering me on is a huge feeling of relief.
    My furnace is still threatening to blow up, I'll need more fuel in the tank tomorrow or the next day. I have a tenant moving out without giving me notice. All the stuff that needs to be fixed in this big old house, still needs to be fixed. The ex still wants me to fix his problems and then there's my sister from hell I have to contend with. But today I feel blessed and am incredibly grateful for those blessings.
    Thank you everyone for sharing your stories.
  • February 25, 2010 3:54 AM PST
    My mom raised me on her own after my dad died when I was 4. I have always had a lot of respect for women who take it upon themselves and dont use it as an excuse. Turned out I learned a lot from my mom. I divorced my ex wife and ended up with full custody of my 2 boys. Raised them from the age of 8 and 10. Oldest is now 19 and a father youngest is 17 graduates next year. If it hadnt been for my mom I dont think I could have done it.

    So if your kids havent done it, I will say THANK YOU for them

    John
  • February 25, 2010 4:05 AM PST
    Sidetrack, Finally! Congrats on the job, on the man, on being able to see and count your blessings even when they are few and far between. The stories you all share give me hope that my ending may be a happy one as well. (And thanks again for the offer of a home to run away to)
    MiParamedic, thank you for all your help behind the scenes these two days, and hats off to you Daddy!
  • March 5, 2010 10:50 PM PST
    I can totally understand where a few of you are at in life! I was married for 18 years, then ex decided to take a road not traveled which didn't include me, but not til he made sure that there was nothing left (had my 17 year old son move with him, and we lost the house, money, car). So I started from scratch, kept my relationship with my son strong, kept the job and my vehicle. The first relationship I had, the gentleman had a motorcycle and that was my introduction to riding. We rode 14,000 miles in one year! I took tons of photos (5,000). But I knew that relationship was going to be terminal, so I walked away, we still remain friends and have taken a few rides together, but I take my bike now! I decided that I loved biking so much, that I needed to have one of my very own. So after about a year in therapy for injuries from a highway crash (in my truck) I took that Riders Edge course, passed and bought my neighbor's bike. It was a 2007 and only had 250 miles on it! The first three months, before winter, I put on 1000 miles. The second season I have put on over 5000 miles on it. But I had to work that around some major medical issues, in which I wasn't allowed to ride at all. I can only ride after work, weekends, and during the summer I have more time to ride. I ride it to work sometimes. It is a major part of my life now, I learned how to change the oil and do a little work on it, and I ride the daylights out of it, wipe it down and it is ready for the next day. I too worry about the economy and what it has done to the world we have come to know. Just always know in your heart that this to will change, hopefully for the better, and what you go through will make you stronger and wiser!
    • 202 posts
    January 19, 2011 8:22 AM PST
    It's tough being a single mom in a couple's world. Most places i go, i go alone and you wouldn't believe the looks i get! Single women make people (men and women) very uncomfortable! lmao
  • January 24, 2012 3:45 PM PST
    Know this is an old thread but a good one!

    It IS hard for single ladies. I ride alone alot & get a lot of strange looks. One of the most fun rides I try to de annually is a "Girly Ride" that originated from just this sort of thread. We have a real mish mash of bikes & rider styles, but the bottom line is we are all women. Hubby's & BFs aren't allowed! As a result the guys put together a Manly Man Ride that ends where the Girly Ride does.

    I rode alone all the way to Nebraska last Easter & then hooked up with some other Vic riders. (All guys although some had the wives with which was cool) I then continued on to Spirit Lake Iowa with one of the guys from New Hampshire. I rode home alone to California.

    I refuse to sit at home & wait for some one to ride with. My bike is dependable so not worried. I know a few things about wrenching etc but not anything major.

    I also ride with a SPOT ~ it's a satellite tracking device & I have friends following me & it also has a 911 button just in case.

    I got my bike to ride & ride I do! I have several other lady friends that ride solo on long trips.

    I keep waiting for Mr. Right to ride up next to me on his iron steed, but in the mean time , I'm gonna go have a ton of fun & sMiles!

    Syd aka Fishy
  • February 3, 2012 3:07 AM PST
    This tread is over 2 years old so I know I will find you standing proud and know that you are standing there on your own. Well, at this point you've done it YAY! I guess that is how we all have done it. Sometimes you just have to be striped to the ground or below ground level to see that everything will be ok. Money doesn't matter as much as you thought for if there's a will there is a way, Men aren't the answer we can accomplish what they can, sometimes the best friends and family jump ship so there your left with the folks that are your real friends. Ok it might be about half, but in this world you only need one good friend.
    At the time the world was just whirling by, and ya can see the way out just didn't know how to grab the next rung of the ladder to help pull yourself out. It happens and ya get that foot hold and the rung appears and up you beging to climb, in the beginning ya get stuck every once in a while but if ya keep trying having faith in self you come to a point where the climbing is smooth and even and even looking down. There are many emotional and physical barriers to this journey but once complete it is very satisfying and rewarding. The reward is we discover a completely "new" us, and we find what we are made of, we can be woman and all heart at the same time. Glad ya hung on. have a great one "T"
    • 0 posts
    April 5, 2012 4:41 PM PDT
    I just wanna thank you all for all the greatly inspiring posts here. Kinda in the same boat. Had, what I thought was a great husband till he could no longer hide the drugs & alcohol, then the nightmare began....they can sure make ya feel like a worthless pos till somebody makes you realize it's him & not you. Well after two years in hell, I'm bouncing back! I can thank my kids mostly for their support and help. It is definitely hard on the pocket, but I'd rather be poor & happy , than rich & miserable. My kids & grandkids make me smile every day and that keeps me going. My favorite thing to do was the long rides on the bike, so this summer I'm just gonna get my own(or keep one of his in the divorce,evil grin). Next MC safety course available is in July, and I'll be there. Yeah, I still have bad days, but at least now the good is out-weighing the bad. My "D" day is in May and I'm going pro-se so wish me luck. Like was said, "What don't kill ya only makes ya stronger". You are all strong, beautiful women who deserve the best. B-Safe & Happy.