BIKER NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

·       I resolve to fix the ol ladies pickup before I finish restoring the ol  panhead. (I know I made the same resolution last year, by this year I promise)

·       I resolve to spend less time at the strip club with my bros and more quality time at the tavern with my ol lady.

·       I resolve to quit hitting on the ol ladies girlfriends.  Just cuz she gets to kiss and touch them don’t mean I get to I guess.

·       I resolve to quit rolling home late at night and drunk as much.  Instead, I’ll start having the bro’s over more and just party at our pad.

·       I resolve that I will finally take the wheels off the mobile home.

·       I resolve to pay more attention to the ol lady.  This way I can be sure she gets the trailer cleaned, the dishes done and gets grub on the table.

·       I resolve to quit waking the ol lady up at 5:30 every morning to braid my pony tail.  She can run home on her brake at the strip club and do it.

·       I resolve to quit spending the rent money on beer.  I’ll start using grocery money instead.

·       I resolve that I will start voting for my ol lady when she’s in the wet t-shirt contest instead of the 19 year old Barbie dolls with plastic hooters.

·       I resolve to bath at least twice a week regardless if I am planning on having sex or not.

·       I resolve to treat the ol lady with as much respect as I do my bartender.

·       I resolve to spend less time locked up at county than I did this past year.

·      I resolve to quit drinking on weekdays, except for Friday, which is kind of the weekend; and Wednesdays, which is meeting night at the clubhouse; and Tuesday, which is poker night at Lizards; oh and every other Thursday, which is the lunchtime lingerie show at the tavern.