My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that..... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my drum set.

Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the laundry is building up!"

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest ‘unit’ she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my girl friend last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening. "

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

Yeah, I know... Some were real 'Groaners'... Thanx for reading tho... I laffed at them... 'course, I'm kinda twisted

Hope ya liked a few and that they made ya grin at least...

Edge Walker

I swear I can hear Henny Youngman. Great one liners...

oh my lord..they are getting worse..i feel like i'm in a bad episode of last comic standing.......uuuuuuhhhhh...you know i love you right?..hahahahahaha......keep em coming..you know i'm a little twisted too...(that's why i keep reading them)

Don't stop now Edge they are getting better

As usual Edge ! Freakn' Hilarious !!! Keep 'em coming!

Got too 'em today....they work just as well on Tuesday mornin'....buahaahaaahaaaa!!!!

Ride Free
Tweek

Lol great 1 liners!

Nuttin better than a one-liner .. 'ceptin maybe a bunch of one-liners.

LOL throughly enjoyed em !! thanks for the laughs,I may steal a couple ;)

I needed that right now!

LOL. : )

Those are just wrong, funny but wrong

<<<< another twisted individual..... keep 'em comming!! LOL

I was explaining to my girl friend last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening. "

ahahahahahaha.. yikes.. he never heard the shot.. Very good, thanks EW

They're great Edge, I needed a good laugh today.

Medic