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the gorilla and the redneck
Topics: 20 Posts: 419
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bullmoose wrote over 2 years ago THE GORILLA AND THE REDNECK
A small zoo in West Virginia obtained a very rare species of gorilla, as part of the latest government financial stimulus package. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. There had only been enough stimulus money for one gorilla. Maybe the zoo would have to find out if another zoo had gotten a male of this same species. Reluctant to go back to the Feds about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little of what you would call 'brain sense,' but he did possess ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions: "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition. "Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition. "Third", he said, "you can't never tell none of our other cousins about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition, even though he didn't know how Bobby expected it to be kept a secret from everybody in the county. "Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed, and the Zookeeper knew he had picked a good, responsible man for the job. And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00. |
Topics: 11 Posts: 3722
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hgsc90 wrote over 2 years ago Get that in writin and hold him to it. |
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triman wrote over 2 years ago That's funny shit! I don't care who you are!!!!! |
Topics: 0 Posts: 1375
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Now that there is funny! Git-er-done. ______________________ Hollywood
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Topics: 10 Posts: 848
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ezzyrider wrote over 2 years ago that's a cracker. hope ye don't mind but i stole and passed it on ______________________ life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to scud in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming - wow, what a ride!!! |
Topics: 43 Posts: 6727
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RexTheRoadDog wrote over 2 years ago ______________________
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Topics: 137 Posts: 2767
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BlvdCruiser wrote over 2 years ago I've got almost $400.00 saved up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ______________________ You should treat every man you encounter with respect, but treating a man with respect and respecting a man are two different things.The first is given, the second must be earned. |
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