1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used, size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads...

"Bubba ~  

Bertha, Duke, Slim, and I went for more ammo and beer.  Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls ~ they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.

I don't think Killer took part but it was hard to tell from all the blood.  

Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.  Be right back.

Crusher"

NICE!

SWEET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll leave the light on for you!

I think that would do the job
Dragon

Had to move a daughter to NYC area - This daughter who usually acts like she was conceived parthenogenetically says "when you come wear your NRA hat"

Good one.....

I like that one!
My little dogs have been the best watch dogs I've ever had. The 120lb. Shepard mix would just roll on his back and say pet me, pet me, pet me and I'll love you forever whoever you are. The female dachshund is fierce. I have to watch her all the time as she is very protective of her territory and has done some damage.

I love it -

A buddy of mine had a sign on the front of his cash register in his store, that read. " This place guarded by a man with a sawed off shotgun, three nights a week, you pick the night ".

Yep! That will do it.....