3 Ways To Screw-Up An Apology

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  Posted by ChaplainClutch February 28, 2013 - Filed in Personal Journal - 898 views
  

   

  I say, and do, dumb things all the time. I’ve grown to accept that my humanity will eventually result in making mistakes in word and in deed. I’ve also grown to accept that that doesn’t give me permission to continue down an occasional path of hurting or offending someone just because I’m human. Tossing out a “my bad” or “sorry bout that” without wanting to change just doesn’t get it.

  Don’t Mean It 

  An apology without genuinely meaning it is worthless. When I say I’m sorry, just to get it out of the way and move on, does nothing for my personal growth or to promote healing with the person I’ve damaged in some way. So, even if it takes a little longer than it probably should, I get to a place where I am truly sorry for what I have done.

  Fail To Listen

  We may not agree with it, understand it, or relate to how our actions have hurt someone. So what? What should matter here is it hurt them. We all have very different and unique measures for the things that we take personally. I may have had zero intention or motivation to tick somebody off when I said something stupid. I have to remember: It’s not about me.

  Don't Change 

  When the religious people brought Jesus an adulteress to be stoned to death, and he promptly put them in their place by saying “Whoever is without sin cast the first stone,” Jesus went on to tell the woman that he doesn’t condemn her, just don’t do it anymore. An apology without changed behavior is no apology at all. (John 8)

  We tend to say and do screwball things when we get angry. Any Shrink will tell you that anger is a secondary emotion. Meaning, something happens first to trigger our anger. We don’t just get angry to get angry. Once we figure out the things that tend to get us P.O’d, we need to squeeze the break, slow down, and THINK.

  L&R,

  Clutch